Stephen Colbert Celebrates Jim Jordan’s Failed House Speaker Bid: ‘Historic Humiliation’ (Video)

Jeremy Bailey
·2 min read
22

Stephen Colbert was back with a vengeance Monday on “The Late Show” after missing most of last week with COVID.

What Colbert missed he seemed to make up for right off the bat, going in on Rep. Jim Jordan’s failed bid for the U.S. House speakership.

“I’m feeling good partly because I’m back on my feet but mostly because Jim Jordan will not be speaker of the House,” Colbert cracked in his monologue, setting up a fresh round of gags at the Republican congressman’s expense.

“At this point, Jordan might have to go back to his previous job at the Museum of Natural History,” Colbert said, before “The Late Show” cut to an image perhaps photoshopped but perhaps not.

In it, Jordan is seen standing in what appears to be a museum display case between a Cro-Magnon man and woman, who stood tall and featured distinct chins, which according to historical records set them apart from Neanderthals.

It was not clear what set Jordan apart.

“This is an historic humiliation for a man who will not be in the history books,” Colbert gloated. “He was undone not by the usual MAGA bomb throwers. He was brought low by a coalition of Republican moderates, which shocked Jordan’s supporters, who had relied on the maxim, ‘Moderates always cave. A tale as old as time.’

“That of course is a Disney reference, though I think Jordan prefers that song from ‘Encanto’ — we don’t talk about what happened at Ohio State.

“Google it! Google it!” Colbert recommended, for those unfamiliar with the numerous allegations against Jordan from his time as an assistant wrestling coach at the university, during which it is alleged he turned a blind eye toward a team doctor’s sexual abuse.

“As we say goodbye to the speaker of nothing, Jim Jordan, we are left exactly where we started 20 days ago, as former Speaker Kevin McCarthy said, ‘It’s back to the drawing board.’ And I believe we have a picture of that drawing board.”

“The Late Show” then cut to a mock-up of a whiteboard game of hangman, spelling out “We are F___ed.”

Watch video of the bit from Colbert’s monologue below and you can watch the full monologue in the video above.

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