Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Cybill Shepherd and David Hasselhoff take aim at Bruce Willis, ahead of the actor’s Comedy Central Roast in Los Angeles. (July 15)
Dana: Here is the official updated statement for Saudi Arabia: It is with unfortunate circumstances that we must inform the people of the world that while visiting the Saudi consulate, Mr. Khashoggi was the unfortunate victim after accidentally falling on a running rotary saw being used by a contractor doing renovations at the consulate. There were fortunatly 18 fine upstanding Saudi citizens present at the time to observe the renovations who rushed to Mr. Khashoggis rescue. None the less, after Mr. Khashoggis struggle against the rotary saw, he had already been dismembered several times in his attempt to save himself. All efforts by the brave rescuers were in vain. The Saudi government offers its sincere apologies and claims that the 18 men left the scene due to being too humble to face the circumstances of being media induced heros. The contractor and subsequent saw were removed due to inadequate safety protocol and the Saudi government again apologizes for misleading the world in such an unfortunate incident. However, no other injuries were reported in the incident. Thank Allah for that.