Sophie Turner Says Early Joe Jonas Divorce Days Were “The Worst" of Her Life

Bruce Glikas

Just months after news broke that Sophie Turner had asked a judge to “reactivate” her divorce case from Joe Jonas, the British actor is opening up about the split, and their relationship overall, for the first time.

In a new interview with British Vogue, Sophie Turner opened up about her feelings while going through the divorce process at length, calling the media frenzy that ensued when news first broke “the worst few days of [her] life.”

In case you need a refresher, TMZ was the first to speculate on news of Turner and Jonas’s divorce before the pair officially confirmed it with a joint statement. TMZ, citing an unnamed source, claimed the reason behind the divorce was the then couple's “very different lifestyles," adding that "she likes to party, he likes to stay at home.”

At the same time as TMZ’s article was published, images of Turner celebrating at the wrap party for her new mini-series Joan began circulating online, creating a fake “bad mom” narrative around Turner, who is now setting the record straight.

Turner told Vogue she felt helpless while the articles were coming out, as she was on set of Joan and was contracted to stay there for another couple of weeks. “I couldn’t leave. My kids were in the States, and I couldn’t get to them because I had to finish Joan. And all these articles started coming out,” the actor said. “It hurt because I really do completely torture myself over every move I make as a mother – mom guilt is so real! I just kept having to say to myself, ‘None of this is true. You are a good mom, and you’ve never been a partier.’”

Turner does not deny attending the wrap party but slammed articles that claimed she was enjoying it “without a care in the world.” “It’s unfathomable the amount of people that will just make sh*t up and put it up based on a picture,” she explained. “A picture might tell a thousand words, but it’s not my story. It felt like I was watching a movie of my life that I hadn’t written, hadn’t produced, or starred in. It was shocking. I’m still in shock.”

The rumor mill took a toll on Turner, who admitted “there were some days that I didn’t know if I was going to make it.” She added: “I would call my lawyer saying, ‘I can’t do this. I just can’t.’ I was just never strong enough to stand up for myself. And then, finally, after two weeks of me being in a rut, she reminded me that it was my children I was fighting for. Once anyone says to me, ‘Do it for your kids,’ I’m doing it. I wouldn’t do it for myself, but I’ll find the strength for them.”

The same month their divorce was announced to the world, Turner and Jonas reached their first custody agreement for her two children, Willa and Delphine, that required them to be in New York. That's when Turner turned to her friends for support. Eleanor Johnson, one of her childhood friends, stayed with Turner in New York while it was all going down. “[She] slept over in my bed every night for weeks and weeks and weeks,” Turner told Vogue.

Taylor Swift, who also famously dates Joe Jonas also proved to be a great pillar for Turner during that time. The singer offered Turner her New York residency to stay at for free after Turner had contacted her with any leads for rent options. “I’ve never been more grateful to anyone than I am for her because she took my children and me, and provided us with a home and a safe space. She really has a heart of gold,” Turned added. “The support I had from the women in my life during that time was the most amazing thing to see. I felt so held and so protected.”

Despite the tumultuous timeline of their divorce, Turned told Vogue she still hopes co-parenting works out for them both. “I’m unhappy with the way everything played out, especially when it comes to my children. They’re the victims in all of this. But I think we’re doing the best we can. I’m confident that we can figure it out. Joe is a great father to our children, and that’s all that I can ask for.”

Turner also added that her “dream” is “to have a huge Christmas where my daughters can have their dad there, Joe’s whole side of the family, their grandparents. I don’t care about the politics, I just want the girls to feel loved and have everyone show up for them.”

Related: Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas’s Relationship Timeline, From DM to Divorce

Elsewhere in the interview, Turner also opened up about her reservations about starting a family with Jonas at such a young age. (The duo welcomed their first baby together when Turner was just 24 years old.)

Turner recalled being shocked with her first pregnancy and taking over a week to fully process it. “Thankfully, there were therapists there to help me talk things through. I told my husband when I got back. I remember throwing the pregnancy test at him, saying, ‘What do you think we should do? Do you think we should have it?’ When you’re in your early 20s, life is so frivolous. At that point, I really didn’t know if I wanted to be a mother, but something changed in me that day. I just knew I had to have her.”

Ultimately, Turner is grateful for her children and even thanks them for helping her nurture a better relationship with her own body. “I remember after I had my baby, my therapist asked me how I felt in my body. And of course I was like, ‘Well, there’s milk leaking from my breasts and I’ve been bleeding for a month.’ Then she reminded me how amazing it is that our bodies can do this and how important it is to put all the nutrients in your body so that it can do that,” she explained. “I mean, it sounds so simple, but I never thought of my body in that way before. Being a young girl, especially one growing up in the spotlight, you really judge yourself.”

After coming to terms with that all and relocating to the U.K after stints in Los Angeles and Miami, Turner says she’s now “the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. I’m starting over again, rediscovering what I like to do, who I like to be with.”

Originally Appeared on Teen Vogue

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