Even now, less than a day out from the Academy Awards ceremony, it’s still difficult to comprehend Uncut Gems not being nominated for a single Oscar. The gems from the Independent Spirit Awards, however? They are uncut.
Adam Sandler took home the lead actor prize for his performance as Howard Ratner, a New York jeweler on a frenetic odyssey to satisfy his unquenchable thirst to win big, high-stakes gambles. In commemoration of the win, Sandler dropped one truly epic acceptance speech in the style of his past comedic roles.
“I stand before you trembling with ample glee as I receive this so-called Best Actor trophy — independently speaking of course,” Sandler began with a Happy Gilmore twang. “First off, it’s great to see our host Aubrey Plaza again. Aubrey and I did a movie entitled Funny People 11 years ago. That was actually the last time critics pretended not to hate me for five f—ing minutes. Catch you in another 11 years, Aubrey. I’d also like to give a shoutout to my fellow nominees, who will now and forever be known as the guys who lost to f—ing Adam Sandler.”
In addition to acknowledging his past works like Billy Madison and The Waterboy, he also addressed Uncut Gems‘ abysmal lack of Oscars attention. “A few weeks back, when I was quote, unquote ‘snubbed’ by the Academy, it reminded me when I briefly attended high school and was overlooked for the coveted yearbook superlative Best Looking,” he said. “That actually was given to a jean jacket-wearing featherhead douchebag by the name of Skipper Jenkins. But my classmates did honor me with the allegedly less prestigious designation of Best Personality. And tonight, as I look around this room, I realize the Independent Spirit Awards are the best personality of Hollywood. So, let all those featherhead douchebag motherf—ers get their Oscars tomorrow night. Their handsome good looks will fade in time, while our independent personalities will shine on forever!”
Uncut Gems also won high honors with Best Director going to Benny and Josh Safdie, who gave overlapping acceptance speeches in another priceless moment from the stage. Sandler tipped his hat to them, too, during his speech. “Two years ago, [film producer] Scott [Rudin] said the words that would forever change my life: ‘No, those aren’t homeless rabbis. Those are the Safdie Brothers.'”