‘SNL’ Cold Open Hits A Comedic Snowbank With Christmas Awards & No Giuliani From Kate McKinnon

Dominic Patten
·4 min read
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It’s the last SNL of 2023, former cast MVP Kate McKinnon is hosting, and that just means the cold open had to dive into Rudy Giuliani’s latest legal face plant — which is exactly what the Lorne Michaels-produced show sadly didn’t do tonight.

Instead, being that it is the last Saturday Night Live of the year before Santa Claus starts shimming down chimneys in a week and a bit, the long-running NBC show went with the 95th annual Christmas Awards “live” from “beautiful and dangerous” downtown LA. A choice that resulted in what just may be the absolute worst cold open of the entire season so far — and that’s a distinct that requires real effort based on the past few weeks.

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Fronted by Heidi Gardner and Bowen Yang as the fictional and perpetually annoying Tina Cabrini and John Parker-Lee from E!, the ceremony of sorts in the skit started with a quip about “don’t be alarmed, but if Santa looks different this year, it’s only because he’s on Ozempic.”

Intentionally or not, it didn’t get any better than that with “Dad Pretending To Love His Son’s Gift” among the nominees and a lame swipe at Mario Lopez. It certainly got much worse when Kenan Thompson was given the role of the winner of the “bravery in service of their family award” for “Grandpa Needs Help In the Bathroom.”

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“You never want to get that phone call,” SNL’s near eternal cast member said as recipient Charlie Bell. “But when you do, you go in there, grit your teeth and try not to make eye contact. I’m horrified to accept this award.”

The same could be said of tonight’s cold open.

It didn’t have to be this way. Really it didn’t.

It could have been Giuliani Time, as the NYPD used to say in very very different circumstances.

A man who mocks and wrecks himself better than almost any comedian (grand exception being McKinnon of course), former NYC Mayor Giuliani was yet again a big loser this week. On December 15 a federal jury awarded Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter Shaye Moss a grand total of $148 million in their defamation suit against the Trump sycophant. Back in late 2020, when he was spending classy time at Philadelphia’s Four Seasons Total landscaping, the often tired and exhausted (to use an old newspaper euphemism) Giuliani accused the duo of tampering with votes in Peach State election battle between Joe Biden and Trump – a dust-up that Biden won by a slim margin in the usually GOP state.

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This isn’t the first kick at the much in court Giuliani’s can of those statements, which saw Freeman and Moss repeatedly threatened by MAGA morons. In August, U.S. District Judge Beryl Howell found Giuliani liable for defaming Freeman and Moss, and ordered a trial on damages. Giuliani, who sadly for comedians never testified in his own defense, and his lawyers say the ex-presidential candidate will appeal his big loss in the trial that just concluded with a result the defendant’s attorney lamented as “the civil equivalent of the death penalty.”

It felt like McKinnon was leaning towards resurrecting cold open regular Rudy, the man once known as “America’s Mayor,” earlier this week when she quipped about “missing Giuliani teeth” in the promo released for tonight’s show. And, that was before the Freeman-Moss verdict was delivered. Speaking of delivering, with the legacy of Bill Cosby, the man once known as “America’s Dad,” and the never-ending fall from grace of Giuliani, may be best to stay away from taking praise as America’s anything for a while.

Maybe SNL stayed away from Giulani, the elections of 2020 and 2024 and all things political after the backlash last week’s cold open received taking on the congressional hearing with Ivy League leaders about battling antisemitism on campuses. “Can’t believe SNL decided to mock those demanding tougher action on Jew-hatred on campus rather than those making excuses for calls for genocide,” exclaimed Jewish Chronicle editor Jake Wallis Simons, in sentiments echoed by many pundits all over the political spectrum. Maybe Weekend Update will at least take a swing at Giuliani — we can only dream or hope.

Having exited SNL at the end of Season 47 in 2022 after a decade-long run as the cast’s North Star, tonight is Barbie star McKinnon’s first stint hosting the show she dominated for so long. It’s actually a bit of a Barbie doubleheader tonight, with Billie Eilish appearing as the musical guest. This is Eilish’s third time on SNL, including when she performed double duty as both host and musical guest in 2021. Eilish sang the much streamed “What I Was Made For?” tune from the Greta Gerwig-helmed and Margot Robbie-led box office smash.

SNL will be back on January 20, with Pricilla’s Elvis Jacob Elordi and Renee Rapp as the first host and musical guest of 2024.

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