From Smashing the Cake to Tossing the Garter: An Etiquette Expert Weighs in on Wedding Traditions (Exclusive)

In an exclusive chat with PEOPLE, etiquette specialist Jacqueline Whitmore gives her take on the do's and don'ts of wedding traditions

When it comes to cutting the cake at weddings, many couples opt to feed each other a bite of the sweet treat in front of guests. While some brides and grooms lovingly deliver the often fondant covered treat with a fork, others go in for a full on cake smash in the face.

Longtine etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore weighs in on the controversial cake smash and shares her advice for what proper wedding etiquette should look like.

“I am not a big fan of the cake smash in the face,” Whitmore tells PEOPLE. “First of all, pictures are going to be taken throughout the evening, and when you mess up a person's makeup…especially after spending so much time and money on her hair and makeup. It makes matters worse.”

Whitmore acknowledges though that the cake smash might be “done in jest” to “lighten the mood” after an emotional ceremony, that doesn't make it a good idea.

"Maybe people do [the cake smash] to get a laugh or get a reaction from their guests," she says, "But I would recommend using a fork, or even your fingers for a gentle, loving feeding of the cake. It's just something more intimate and emotional versus trying to get a laugh."

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The expert notes that when it does happen, guests often don't find it funny. “I don't know if it's a generational thing, but older parents don't like to see it,” she adds.

Whitmore says that when it comes to tossing the bouquet and garter, she's all for it. “I think that when you have a lot of single people in the audience, they look forward to it,” she says. “It's been a long time tradition that people still do today. It's kind of fun. You can have a lot of fun with it."

In terms of major "Don'ts" at weddings, Whitmore adds that no one should overshadow the bride and groom.

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“Don't post pictures of the bride and groom before they could have an opportunity to do so,” she tells PEOPLE. “Also, don't announce your big news at somebody else's wedding. Let's say you're expecting or you just got engaged, you're not there to trump someone else's events. So make sure that the spotlight is on the couple."

And keep the alcohol to a minimum. “Definitely don't drink too much, because you can not only embarrass yourself, but you can embarrass the bride and groom, and the person who you're with.”

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Whitmore adds that wedding parties should not “bring uninvited guests” except for a plus one if the invitation states so to avoid “awkward” situations. “It puts the [bride and groom[ in an awkward position and we all know weddings are expensive, even on a budget, they're expensive,” she adds.

And when it comes to gifts, "which you should do," have them delivered to the couple's house ahead of the ceremony. If you bring cash for the couple, Whitmore says you run the risk of the money getting lost or stolen at the venue.

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Read the original article on People.