Singer Lia Marie Johnson Reveals Struggles with Addiction, Abuse and Suicide: 'Love Saved Me'

Lia Marie Johnson/YouTube Lia Marie Johnson

YouTube star Lia Marie Johnson is speaking out about her addiction struggles in a video posted to her channel last Thursday.

The 26-year-old singer got her start on The Fine Bros.' YouTube show Kids React, and later, Teens React, where children and teenagers live-reacted to various clips from music videos to comedy skits. In 2014, Adweek named her one of 12 the "biggest young stars on YouTube."

When she was 17, Johnson moved to L.A., where she went on to star in a couple of movies and signed a record deal with Capitol Records. From there, she switched careers to become a full-time singer, while still gaining subscribers on her own YouTube channel. With the release of her 2016 song "DNA," which details Johnson's fear that she will turn out like her alcoholic father, Johnson's career skyrocketed — but her personal life hit an all-time low.

Since then, Johnson has struggled with drug addiction, multiple suicide attempts, and abusive relationships. The YouTube star decided to share her message now with the hope of starting with a blank slate and helping others who may be going through something similar.

"Whatever path you're on, I hope it's a beautiful one," she said in the video. "And if you aren't happy where you are, don't be afraid to ask for help and change directions."

Johnson shared her struggles in the 10-minute-long video, detailing specific moments that made her feel hopeless and afraid.

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It all started when she moved to L.A. "I was living in a whole other world when the sun went down," the singer shared in her video. "I was drinking, using drugs, and partying almost every night. Life isn't always easy, I just never knew it could be so hard."

She entered into an abusive relationship and had no one to turn to, she says. "There was pain and loneliness in my life that not even drugs could fix."

Lia Marie Johnson/Instagram Lia Marie Johnson

Signing to Capitol Records only made it worse: Johnson detailed how she partied, drank, and smoked weed "beyond [her] boundaries." After the release of "DNA," Johnson got into a near-fatal car accident, admitting she was "lucky to be alive."

Everything spiraled from there. Johnson said she made multiple attempts on her life and would end up in psychiatric hospitals from drug-induced psychosis. She left rehab for the first time at 21, but quickly relapsed and entered another abusive relationship, leaving her with "bruises on [her] neck from strangulation."

"He took advantage of the money I had made," she shared. "Verbally, he would take his anger out on me and, mentally and psychologically, I was driven into what felt like insanity."

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By 2019, Johnson made headlines with Instagram Live videos where fans were quick to point out her apparently inebriated state and the sounds of people doing drugs in the background — all of which Johnson confirmed in her video. She said she went to jail multiple times by then and she reached a point where she "just couldn't take it anymore."

After a dark moment in 2020, when her partner — with whom she was using heavily — died by suicide, Johnson's friend stepped in and helped her regain her sobriety by housing her and forgiving her when she struggled to stay sober.

"I've had a lot of people tell me 'I'm glad that you're alive' because the way I was living I shouldn't be," she said. "Now I can tell you that the one thing that saved me was love, real love. That's why I'm here, because love is so powerful. Love is the reason I'm alive."

Johnson shared that she hopes her story will inspire others to seek help. In the description of her video, she added a message to viewers who may be going through struggles of her own, in addition to mental health, addiction, and domestic abuse resources.

"Please reach out to friends and family if you are ever struggling with abuse or your mental health," she wrote. "You are not alone."

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The video came a day before the release of Johnson's new single, "Smoking Gun." In an Instagram post last November, the artist announced she would be releasing one single every month of 2023.

The post was met with enthusiasm from fans, including other YouTube personalities Andrea Russett and Trevi Moran.

Other YouTube stars, like Ricky Dillon, have since offered their support. "i love you so much lia. i am so proud of you. it makes me so happy that you are in such a good place now. you are an inspiration. i am so ready to stream every song you drop this year!" he wrote in a reply to Johnson's tweet about her tell-all video.

Johnson has since moved to England with her new boyfriend and plans to continue making music and maintaining her sobriety.

"Life is a journey filled with dreams and mystery," Johnson concluded. "I'm at a point now where I can say everything happens for a reason and I'm so happy to be alive today to tell you my story."

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.