During an interview with Jon Bernthal for the latter's REAL ONES podcast, which aired Wednesday, LaBeouf got emotional as he opened up about being in a Utah rehab center and, during family week, getting a video call from Goth after the two had been estranged for years.
"She saved my f---ing life," said LaBeouf, 36, through tears. "She was present for me at a time when I didn't deserve to have nobody in my life, especially her."
Calling Goth, 28, "a real one," the actor mused about the "irrational" nature of love in the sense that he felt like he didn't have anything to offer to her in return, admitting, "It's the first time I ever really understood love, because I didn't have nothing to give."
"She gave me hope when I was really running on fumes," LaBeouf told Bernthal, 45, of Goth, with whom he shares a 5-month-old daughter named Isabel.
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Karwai Tang/WireImage Mia Goth and Shia LaBeouf
During the two-hour sit-down interview with Bernthal, LaBeouf also acknowledged that he has "hurt a lot of people," including a specific woman, and noted that he had suicidal thoughts after certain allegations went public.
The conversation took place nearly two years after he was sued by ex FKA Twigs, who accused him of physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
"I hurt that woman," LaBeouf said, without naming FKA, 34. "And in the process of doing that, I hurt many other people, and many other people before that woman ... I was a pleasure-seeking, selfish, self-centered, dishonest, inconsiderate, fearful human being."
"I f---ed up bad. ... [I] hurt a lot of people, and I'm fully aware of that. And I'm going to owe for the rest of my life," he continued, adding that he has a "long list of people that I need to make amends to."
The Even Stevens alum also referred to his accuser as a "saint," saying that she "saved my f---ing life" by holding him accountable: "Had she not intervened in my life and not created the avenue for me to experience ego death, I'd either have a really mediocre existence or I'd be dead in full."
REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal Shia LaBeouf
FKA (real name: Tahliah Barnett) filed a lawsuit against ex LaBeouf in December 2020, accusing him of sexual, physical and emotional abuse, as well as knowingly giving her a sexually transmitted disease. A court date has been scheduled for April 17, 2023, Rolling Stone reported in May.
Although LaBeouf initially denied the allegations, he recently addressed FKA in a letter to Olivia Wilde published by Variety, in which he refuted the director's previous claim that she fired him from her upcoming movie Don't Worry Darling.
"My failings with Twigs are fundamental and real, but they are not the narrative that has been presented," LaBeouf told Wilde, 38, in the email. "There is a time and a place to deal with such things, and I am trying to navigate a nuanced situation with respect for her and the truth, hence my silence."
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.