Sex over 65: Original play explores sexual history of Sarasota seniors

Public school teachers may have to negotiate new laws limiting how sex can be discussed with kids in the classroom, but some Sarasota area senior citizens are opening up about their sexual histories in an original play being created for The Ringling’s Art of Performance Series.

“All the Sex I Ever Had” is created by the Toronto-based theater company Mammalian Diving Reflex, which works with local coordinators to find a group of people 65 and over to talk about their sex lives and have those stories turned into a play.

The company has created shows in about 25 cities, each unique based on the experiences of local residents.

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“The stories themselves are never the same,” said co-director Annalise Proder. “There’s a shared experience among all the casts, everywhere we go. So many people over the age of 65 have experienced death, divorce and children and tragedy, those sorts of things. But every show is extremely different and unique.”

In the Sarasota area, Robert Rogers was recruited to help find nearly 30 people willing to take part in initial conversations about their sexual histories. From that group and interviews, the creative team selected six people who went through hours of interviews. Their responses have been turned into a script that the group of seniors will perform April 20-23 in the Historic Asolo Theater.

Co-director Maile Zox said Rogers found a group of people who “are just so ready, so grateful to talk about their experiences.”

Seeking a mix of life experiences

Proder said the team looks for variety and diversity among the casts they pick in each city. “We want people whose stories may not overlap each other. It’s about balancing. Everyone has beautiful stories, the most interesting life stories to tell.” They seek a diverse representation of the local communities where the troupe presents its shows. Sarasota was something of an extra challenge because so many people are recent transplants.

“It’s interesting to look at the history of the place where we do it because history dramatically affects people’s lives. But there are only a couple of cast members who have lived in Sarasota more than 50 years,” Zox said.

There is one essential rule for the participants in every city. The creative team doesn’t want to use actors or people accustomed to public speaking.

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“The ethos of the company is that we don’t work with trained actors,” Proder said. “We work to develop interactions with everyday people to create an interesting experience, create change and have a positive impact. It’s a type of art practice that really shows community engagement.”

She describes the cast as “extremely courageous, which goes without saying based on the subject matter.” The creative team uses a variety of exercises and icebreakers to make everyone comfortable talking.

“It’s very gradual and everyone becomes more and more comfortable telling their stories and what has gone on through their lives,” Proder said. “In my experience, when people reach the age of 65, there’s a lot of wisdom. They’re letting go of inhibitions. Most people want to speak about sex and intimacy and relationships,” she said.

Zox said there’s a kind of “cathartic aspect” to the experience. “We start from the day everybody is born. It’s interesting how sex and relationships affects every aspect of people’s lives.”

The six participants will share the stage at the Historic Asolo Theater, sitting at a table and reading their own words from a script.

While Zox said some audience members come because they think the show is going to be funny – “and this one’s going to be really funny” – there is usually an unexpected response.

“Everybody cries by the end,” she said. “It’s a shared experience of human stories and experiences. It’s beautiful to look at someone’s life from the day they were born until today.”

‘All the Sex I Ever Had’

Created by Mammalian Diving Reflex and presented at 7:30 p.m. April 20-23 in the Historic Asolo Theater, The Ringling, 5401 Bay Shore Rd., Sarasota. Tickets are $10-$35 with member discounts. 941-360-7399; ringling.org

This article originally appeared on Sarasota Herald-Tribune: Sarasota seniors share tales of their sex lives in Ringling play