Seth Meyers Roasts Linda Yaccarino, Tom Sandoval, Dick Wolf, Paramount & Peacock At NBCU Upfront

Seth Meyers has been an annual tradition at NBCUniversal’s Upfronts. Much like Jimmy Kimmel at the Disney event, Meyers loves to roast the television industry and his own employer.

This year was no different, taking shots at NBC, Peacock, Dick Wolf, Bravo star Tom Sandoval, and former ad chief Linda Yaccarino in a five-minute bit.

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Check out the jokes below:

“Welcome to the NBCU Upfront. If you’re looking for the Fox News upfront, that’s happening outside a lower Manhattan courtroom.”

“What a joy to be back in Radio City; I asked an NBC executive ‘Why do you hole up here every year?’ and they said ‘I like looking at the marquee and thinking, sure, it’s a tricky time for TV, but it could be worse, we could be in radio’.”

“It’s been a very good day for me, I found $20 on street this morning. Long story short, I’m one of the two finalists for Paramount.”

“It’s a good time to be me, but it’s a great time to be [an advertiser]. It must feel so gratifying that eventually everyone comes back to advertising. Remember when streamers told you, ‘We’re gonna do television a new way so I’m afraid we won’t be needing your little commercials anymore. Cut to a few years later, every episode of Shogun is interrupted by ‘Whopper Whopper Double Whopper’.”

“The Upfronts are where we sell ads for NBC’s amazing lineup of shows. Well, not my show, my show is on at 12:30am so instead of the Upfronts, we sell ours at the outbacks. If you want to get into late-night, come see me outside by the dumpster.”

“Given it’s the Upfronts, you’d think we’d be honest and upfront about everything but that tends not to be the case. For example, I’m gonna let you guys in on something: not every branding opportunity is unique. Sometimes, it’s just a regular old branding opportunity. When you say unique branding opportunity, you sound like the guys in Glengarry Glen Ross; ‘I’ve got a very unique branding, so unique, I’m not even supposed to tell you about it. You remember Deal or No Deal? It’s on an island now. How’s that feel?

“Deal or No Deal was always a great show, so I’ll admit I was surprised moving it to an island worked so well. I love Jeopardy, but I don’t think I’d watch it more if it was in the woods.”

“NBC has a new drama called The Hunting Party. It stars South Dakota governor Kristi Noem and the dog from Frasier.”

“I thought Kristi Noem would make a good Real Housewife but Andy Cohen told me she’s a lot and if he says it…”

“Bravo announced the Vanderpump Rules spinoff The Valley has been renewed for another season. They’ve also picked up something from Tom Sandoval and are waiting to learn if it’s contagious.”

“How do we have a Chicago Fire, Chicago Med and a Chicago PD and there has never been The Real Housewives of Chicago? Because nobody wants to watch four women named Ann Marie get horribly sunburned at the Cubs game.”

“Speaking of Dick Wolf, Law & Order has been renewed for a 25th season. It’s been on so long, the criminals from season one are now eligible for parole. So look for those familiar faces.”

“It’s not just NBC, there are amazing things happening on Peacock. Peacock continues to prove that the easiest way to make a billion dollars is to spend eight.”

“NBC is launching the new adventure competition series called Destination X. Or as it was originally titled the Linda Yaccarino Story.

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