Seth Meyers Golden Globes Monologue: Hosting This Year Like Being “First Dog Shot Into Space”

UPDATED with video: Seth Meyers deftly executed a seemingly impossible task Sunday night, as the middle aged white guy who found himself hosting an awards ceremony for an industry consumed by #MeToo and Time’s Up conversation.

The NBC late-night host opened with a special hello to all those other male hosts of upcoming trophy shows this awards season, who were no doubt watching him “like the first dog they shot into outer space.”

Jimmy Kimmel, who is host this year’s Academy Awards, tweeted appreciatively:

“They tried to get a woman to host the show. They really did,” Meyers promised Golden Globe attendees, and the millions watching at home. “They said, ‘How’d you like to come and be judged by some of the most most powerful people in Hollywood?’ And women were, like ‘Hmmm. Well, where is it?’ And they said, ‘this hotel.’

“And, long story short: I’m your host tonight.”

Just when the audience started to get comfortable, Meyers went there: “It’s time to address the elephant not in the room; Harvey Weinstein – is not here tonight,” he said.

“I’ve heard rumors he’s crazy and difficult to work with,” Meyers snarked as the crowd laughed, but nervously. Then he forecast Weinstein “will be back in 20 years when he become the first person ever booed in the In Memoriam.”

“It will sound like that,” Meyers said as the crowd gasped and groaned.

Saying there is a “new era underway,” Meyers admitted “It’s been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood,” of himself.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m a man with absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight,” as the camera tossed to Seth Rogen.

“Hey, remember when he was the guy making trouble in North Korea? Simpler times!”

Speaking of Donald Trump, the President of the United States played third fiddle in Meyers opening monologue, which undoubtedly infuriated the insatiably media-hungry Trump, and about which he may already have tweeted about with un-hinged furor.

Hoping to poke that wound, Meyers had more: “We’re here courtesy of the Hollywood Foreign Press — a string of three world that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president,” he snarked. “The only name that would make him angrier: The Hillary Mexico Salad Association.”

Meyers proudly reminded the Beverly Hills Hilton ballroom crowd he’s been given credit/blame for having inspired the former NBC reality TV series star to run for POTUS when he hosted the 2011 White House Correspondents Dinner and skewered Fox News guest Trump by joking, “Donald Trump has been saying that he’ll run for president as a Republican, which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.”

Noting Oprah Winfrey is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award, Meyers added, “I just want to say, Oprah, you will never be President. You do not have what it takes. And, Tom Hanks, you will never be Vice President. You are too man and unrelatable.

“Now we just wait and see,” Meyers said as the crowd erupted.

And, under Things That Infuriate Trump, Meyers pointed out The Post has received multiple nominations, being a film about journalist integrity, directed by Stephen Spielberg and starring Hanks and Meryl Streep, who savaged Trump last year when she accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Award. As Meyers spoke, as a woman walked out on stage with an armful of Globes. “Not yet, we have to wait,” Meyers told her,” as Spielberg was seen in the audience, covering his face with his hands as Streep doubled over with laughter.

Meyers ended on a serious note, telling viewers at home he understand that the ballroom looks to them like a room of privileged Hollywood elites. But the people in the room, he saisd, know that making content also includes many many people who work long hard hours at American Dream jobs. Those people aren’t there thanks to their rich dad, he said. “Except for that one PA, Every film set has at least one super-connected PA: ‘Oh, that’s Jeremy Paramount!’”

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMQJPsZsL00&w=605&h=340]

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