Selma Blair Gets Vulnerable About the Reality of MS: 'It Feels Like I Am Just Breaking Down'

Julie Sprankles
·5 min read

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In the midst of a raw moment, Selma Blair is sharing the reality of living with multiple sclerosis. Since revealing her diagnosis with the world last year, the actress has remained largely upbeat considering everything she endures on a daily basis. But today, she’s opening up about a heartbreakingly real truth: Chronic illness doesn’t play fair, and it can leave you feeling “alone and vulnerable and scared.”

On Tuesday, Blair took to Instagram to chronicle some of the new MS symptoms she’s struggling to adapt to — admitting that, right now, it’s hard to see the silver lining she’s known for finding. “This is the thing. I feel sick. This is what happens. There is no bright light of glamour. Of course. It is long nights. Almost all nights. My muscles in my face and neck are in spasm. Or so tight I can’t even find a way to stretch. And I have been trying for three hours. On the ground stretching,” she wrote.

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Making matters all the more complicated? Blair is also battling the flu and has a sprained ankle. Although she knows she’ll recover and that she’s “lucky on a million counts,” she’s also honest about how she feels. “I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down,” she said. “So there’s a truth to give to anyone else feeling this way. It’s just miserable. And scary. To feel unwell.”

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This is the thing. I feel sick. This is what happens. There is no bright light of glamour. Of course. It is long nights. Almost all nights. My muscles in my face and neck are in spasm. Or so tight I can’t even find a way to stretch. And I have been trying for three hours. On the ground stretching. I have had the stomach flu. Thanks Arthur! And I am even more sideways now. For now. But I am not killed by it. I am strong enough not to be taken down any more than the average bear. That’s great news. Excellent reassurance. I recover. I stepped wrong last week. In the street. I don’t remember it happening. Or the pain. I was told. And my ankle is sprained and it makes me feel even more fragile. A simple ankle sprain. And I am lucky on a million counts. I know. And I am still feeling alone and vulnerable and scared about the future as a single mom. I’m not dying any more than anyone. I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down. So there’s a truth to give to anyone else feeling this way. It’s just miserable. And scary. To feel unwell. I am so sorry. This is just me to you. In the early hours of the morning. Cause I don’t know what else to do and I want so much to do better. May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves. I am in a slow time. I need to recover. I want to recover. And I don’t know what that even really means. 💛. I send you all a reassuring warmth. We all need it. #receivership

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Feb 11, 2020 at 4:26am PST

In this darkness — something Blair refers to as “a slow time” — she’s gripped with fear and vulnerability and loneliness. She worries about being a single mom and what her illness might mean for her 8-year-old son, Arthur. And while it’s nearly impossible to imagine what life is like with a chronic illness when you don’t have one, one thing is certain: Parenting is tough stuff. Those who parent while living with chronic illness are warriors.

When Blair initially revealed her diagnosis, she wished others living with MS “good days among the challenge.” And while sharing those good days surely serves as a source of hope for people living with chronic illness, sharing those challenges is a brave and beautiful thing to do, too. Someone out there, sitting in the same darkness as Blair, will read her raw emotions and feel… seen. That’s important when you suffer from an illness that isn’t always visible.

Blair ended her post in gratitude and a wish for light, writing, “May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves. I am in a slow time. I need to recover. I want to recover. And I don’t know what that even really means. I send you all a reassuring warmth. We all need it.”

Click here to learn about more celebrities living with multiple sclerosis.

Launch Gallery: 10 Celebs you probably didn't know live with multiple sclerosis

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