Sean Spicer Wins Emmys Opening Monologue As Stephen Colbert Savages Donald Trump
True to his word, Stephen Colbert talked gobs of Donald Trump in his Emmy Awards opening monologue tonight.
“We know the biggest TV star of this past year is Donald Trump – and Alec Baldwin,” Colbert said in a nod to the actor nommed tonight for playing the President of the United States on Saturday Night Live.
“However you feel about the president, and you do feel about the president, you can’t deny every show was influenced by Trump in some way,” Colbert insisted to the hall, pointing to American Horror Story and next year’s Latin Grammy Awards which, Colbert announced will be hosted by Joe Arpaio.
Emmys mean a lot to Trump, who received multiple noms for The Apprentice franchise but never won.
“If he’d won, I bet he would not have run for president. So, in a way this is your fault,” Colbert scolded the decked-out TV industry crowd. “I thought you people loved morally compromised anti-heroes!”
Trump did not win because “unlike the presidency, the Emmys go to the winner of the popular vote,” Colbert snarked, wondering, “Where do I find the courage to tell that joke in this room?”
Of course what really matters to Trump – as reality TV star and as President of the United States – is ratings. Colbert already had noted how much TV Trump watches, waving hello to POTUS and welcoming him, via his TV, to the Emmy ceremony. To that point, Colbert hoped tonight’s Emmy Awards would get a huuuuge number.
Though, of course there is no way to know, just minutes into the program, what the ratings will be. Is there?
If you had your money on former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer rolling out, Melissa McCarthy style, congratulations! Spicer of course, was in town, having this week made his late night TV debut on Jimmy Kimmel’s ABC program.
“This will be the largest audience to witness an Emmys, period! Both in person and around the world!” Spicer screeched, aping his gobsmacking presser shortly after Trump’s inauguration, in which he insisted, in the face of reality, Trump’s inaugural crowd had been the biggest in the history of the world. Period.
McCarthy, who won an Emmy last weekend for best supporting actress in a comedy series for her Trump-enraging turn as Unhinged Spidey Spice, seemed stunned in the Emmy audience, as did others, at Spicer’s sense of humor.
“Wow! That really soothes my fragile ego,” Colbert enthused.
Colbert had promised he’d be all over Trump with tonight’s monologue, insisting this morning Trump is “the biggest TV star of this year.
“No one’s close,” the CBS late-night host told the network’s news division in his Emmy walk-up interview. “You know, how like the Bible outsells every book of all time? Donald Trump is the Bible of the 2016-2017 television season. If you don’t include Donald Trump as a TV star this year, you’re lying.”
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