Sarah Herron Opens Up About the Death of Son Oliver Shortly After Birth: 'He Was Magic'
Sarah Herron is opening up about going from being an expectant mother to a grieving mother in a heartfelt essay in Women's Health
Sarah Herron is talking about her recovery from the death of her baby boy.
The Bachelor alum, 36, penned an essay for National Infertility Awareness Week (April 23–29) in Women's Health Magazine, about her experience surrounding the death of son Oliver Brown, who was born in her 24th week of pregnancy after a long in vitro fertilization (IVF) journey.
"Our time together was short, but we are grateful for our days with Oliver in my belly. He has taught us so much about the integrity of life, love, and death," wrote Herron, who shares Oliver with fiancé Dylan Brown.
"He's taught me what it means to be a mother: to honor, celebrate and show up for your children—regardless of their time on earth. Oliver filled our home and hearts with so much love and optimism."
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Related:Sarah Herron Says Late Son Was 'Still Worth Every Shot' as She Reflects on Her IVF Journey
Herron continued, "The stars aligned to create our son with a deep, meaningful purpose bigger than we'll ever understand. His body was small, but his legacy will always be larger than life to us."
"While our hearts are shattered beyond comprehension, and we would much rather have our son here with us, we are comforted knowing that our son's soul only ever knew love and will not suffer in a body that wasn't built for this life," she concluded. "He wasn't struck by lightning...he was magic."
Elsewhere in the essay, Herron spoke about coming home after Oliver's death, noting, "There is no way to prepare yourself for the subtle inconveniences of pregnancy vanishing—without warning."
"Like the way you can suddenly zip your winter coat or reach down to tie your shoes again. Or how the elastic band on your sweats suddenly fits on your waist—not below it. Or the way you accidentally roll onto your belly in the middle of the night," she continued. "And worst of all, catching your new reflection each day and no longer seeing a bump."
The process of healing has required what Herron calls a "certain type of wintering, of retreat and rest that only a grieving mother knows."
"There are no words for the magnitude of loss and pain you experience when losing a child. It was messy and ripped us apart, yet it was an important part of our experience as parents," she wrote.
"We had to face Oliver's death head-on and let the grief tear through us. And somewhere, in the chaos of loss, we found our survival instinct and could sustain our love for Oliver while moving forward with our life," she said. "It has been beautiful and simultaneously tragic. We've been surrounded by love and have never been lonelier."
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