Sara Bareilles Opens up About Body Image Insecurities Before 2023 Tony Awards: ‘I’m Trying to Rewire My Brain’

"I go on a real bender of body-shaming and hating," the Grammy winner said

Sara Bareilles smiled on the red carpet at the 2023 Tony Awards Sunday night, while donning a plunging red Georges Chakra gown. But picking the dress drummed up feelings of insecurity for the 42-year-old "Brave" singer.

Prior to attending the annual event, where she was nominated for her leading actress in a musical role in the revival of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods, Bareilles opened up on her Instagram Story about her new approach to thinking about her body.

Explaining that she was in the process of picking both her gown for the Tonys and for Monday night's Tribeca Film Festival premiere of Waitress, the filmed version of the hit Broadway musical she penned and starred in, Bareilles revealed that prepping for high profile nights out like those typically triggered longstanding body image issues.

"Traditionally, when I’m getting ready for a big event, I go on a real bender of body-shaming and hating and trying to lose weight and get small and hit the gym super hard because there’s some kind of sense in myself that if I don’t present a certain way that I’m not allowed to participate," she said on Saturday.

Now, Bareilles is working to break that bad habit.

“I am thinking a lot about how I’m preparing for these events ... these two events mean a lot to me, obviously," she shared, explaining that she is "really trying to rewire” her brain to think differently. "[These are] old stories and I don’t ascribe to them anymore — I mean, I have to fight really hard not to ascribe. Like, I can just have the body that I have and go have a f------ blast.”

Related: Sara Bareilles Talks Learning to Find Joy 'Whether One Pair of Jeans Fits or Not' After Body Image Issues

This isn't the first time Bareilles has gotten candid about her struggles with her self-confidence. She especially felt those feelings as she's reemerged in the public eye from the COVID-19 pandemic, to begin filming her hit comedy series Girls5Eva.

"With Girls5eva, I have to be in front of the camera again and have to get dressed and get hair done. It brings up a lot of stuff for me. I have been someone who's struggled with body image issues my whole life, and I've struggled with feelings of being self-conscious as I've gotten older," Bareilles told PEOPLE in June 2021.

To get to a healthier mindset, Bareilles not only used tools she learned in years of therapy; she also embraced meditation, which she does "for at least 15 or 20 minutes" every morning.

"With meditation I find everything about my life improves: my health, my sleep, my habits, my emotional state and my energy. It's all better when I'm meditating. I really feel the benefits," she said, explaining that she first got into the practice years ago, after reading When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön. "A dear friend gave it to me while I was going through a really bad breakup. I was just desperately sad all the time, and I couldn't distract myself from it. The book taught me about sitting with what is uncomfortable and building a relationship with the fact that that is a part of being alive."

In that vein, Bareilles is "trying to embrace that my body doesn't do what it used to."

"Ultimately, whether one pair of jeans fits or not, I can still enjoy the world and the people I love. There's so much to celebrate, so I try to be gentle," she told PEOPLE. "I think we're made to feel in some ways that when we have low self-esteem days, that that's abnormal or that's wrong or that's bad rather than the fact that that's a really natural progression. You're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days. It's just a question of how long you want to sit in the bad feelings."

Sunday appeared to be a good day for Bareilles. Though the former Tony host ultimately lost the award to Kimberly Akimbo star Victoria Clark, Bareilles did get a chance to take the stage at the United Palace Theater to perform "It Takes Two" alongside her Into the Woods costar (and fellow nominee) Brian D'Arcy James.

Fiancé Joe Tippett was also by her side too, embracing her while posing for photographers in a blue tuxedo that perfectly complimented Bareilles' intricate gown.

The pair, who got engaged in January, met while working together on the musical adaptation of Adrienne Shelly's 2007 film Waitress  during its out-of-town tryout at the American Repertory Theater in Cambridge, Massachusetts in August 2015. Tippett played Earl, the moody husband of the story's protagonist Jenna (originated by Jessie Mueller).

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Related: The Best Dressed Stars at the 2023 Tony Awards

Though he didn't initially transfer with the production when it first moved to Broadway in April 2016, Tippett eventually stepped into the role. He also got the chance to star opposite Bareilles, who played Jenna in a number of limited runs.

One of those performances was captured by cameras and put together for the Waitress film, which premieres Monday in New York City. The movie was produced in the fall of 2021, when Waitress returned to Broadway as part of the efforts to slowly reopen the theater industry after the COVID-19 shutdown.

Both Bareilles and Tippett are expected to attend the screening together. Other stars who are expected at the event include Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Tina Fey, Bart Freundlich, Josh Groban, Tom Hanks, Ron Howard, Justin Mikita, Paula Pell, Ben Platt and Rita Wilson.

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