Ryan Adams says he lost 'who I am' after emotional abuse claims from Mandy Moore, Phoebe Bridgers

Ryan Adams is asking for forgiveness once again — two years after he was accused of manipulating and harassing multiple female artists.

In his first interview since The New York Times published its harrowing 2019 report exposing the singer for emotionally and sexually harassing women, Adams reflected on his "cancelled" career in a Los Angeles Magazine interview published Monday.

At the time, seven women – including Adams' ex-wife Mandy Moore and singer/songwriter Phoebe Bridgers – accused Adams of championing rising female artists and then exploiting them and stifling their ambitions, often for his own sexual gain.

“I felt like they were asking me to die,” Adams said, referencing cancel culture. “So I’m losing my life’s work, and my dream of who I am, my ability to provide for myself. And I now don’t have the emotional support to help fix this. The door has slammed and what am I going to do?”

USA TODAY reached out to reps for Moore and Bridgers for comment.

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He added he not only lost career opportunities (the cancellation of his U.K. and Ireland tours, the delayed release of his "Big Colors" album), but lost friends in his personal life, comparing them to a "swarm of birds, and they all turn at the same time."

“I was in (expletive) shock,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep. Anxiety made me so sick. I couldn’t fix it. I was functional in that I kept my house OK, and my cats were OK. But I was not well.”

Addressing the elephant in the room, Adams went on to combat claims brought up by Moore, who alleged at the time that her ex-husband used her own musical ambitions as a tool to control and hurt her. The two were married from 2009 to 2016.

"His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time – my entire mid-to-late 20s," Moore told The New York Times.

Adams said he was taken aback by Moore's involvement in the story.

“I was like, what is the point of this now?" he said. "We talked about this stuff years ago. Dissolving a marriage is one of the most difficult and soul-crushing things you can do. And the best you can do is to do it with care. We did the best that we could. So, yeah, I was a little confused.”

He also pushed back against the idea that he hindered her music career.

“If that were to ever to come out of my mouth, I would have hoped that it was followed immediately by a sincere apology,” Adams said. “I am capable of saying things that I later regret and it sucks to ever have that happen…I understand her disappointment. I see her point of view."

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As for accusations brought up by Bridgers, who claimed he was "completely nude" after asking her to bring something to his hotel room, Adams said he had no memory of the incident and noted that he rarely sleeps in hotel rooms.

“She was a friend and an inspiring, great musician, and she has a really funny and unhinged sense of humor,” Adams recalled.

He also addressed "insane" accusations that he had phone sex and exchanged graphic texts with an underage girl. Though he didn't deny the interaction, he clarified that he wasn't aware of her age and assumed she was older due to social media posts of her performances in New York nightclubs.

“I cannot blame her,” he said of her involvement in the Times story. “I left home when I was 15 and I get it.”

As for those who still suspect that he would knowingly have relationships with underage girls, he said: “I have no history of this kind of (expletive). I love women who are tall and mean to me and smarter than me by half. This is not my pattern."

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In February 2019, the Times reported that the FBI's New York field office was investigating whether the 44-year-old musician committed a crime by having phone sex and exchanging graphic texts with an underage girl.

That same year, Adams wrote in an essay published in The Daily Mail that there were "no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I've mistreated people throughout my life and career."

In response, during an appearance on the "Today" show at the time, Moore said Adams' public apology was "challenging" for her "because I feel like, in many ways, I've said all I want to say about him and that situation, but I find it curious that someone would make a public apology but not do it privately."

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Contributing: Hannah Yasharoff, Maria Puente

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Ryan Adams on sexual misconduct claims by Mandy Moore, Phoebe Bridgers