Who Was RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm? All the Possibilities, Ranked

This week:

• I hope you’re all watching Hacks.

• Who was RFK’s brain worm? What’s her story?

• All the important news from the Met Gala.

• The Taylor-Travis reign of terror returns.

• Important Reba update!

Possible RFK Brain Worms, Ranked

I, like most of America, have not stopped thinking about the story that doctors found a dead worm in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s brain. It’s a “well, that certainly explains things” anecdote in an era of entirely inexplicable nonsense. This bozo literally had “brain worms,” the catch-all phrase we use for someone whose asinine ideas suggest they are absolutely losing their mind.

Given my obsession with this, when I saw this tweet, I laughed for about two minutes, sent it to each of my four-to-five friends, laughed again each time I pressed “send,” and now am writing about it.

The tweet also made me think, who was that worm chomping on RFK’s brain? What’s her story? It’s my worms-for-brain idea of the week: Here is a ranking of the worms who are most likely to have been in RFK’s brain.

The sandworms from Dune

They’re too hip right now. RFK wishes.

Grey Worm from Game of Thrones

Noble. Very hot. A eunuch. None of those characteristics apply to what I think of RFK.

The space slugs from Star Wars

Tried to kill Han Solo. Seems like something dastardly that RFK would do.

The sandworms from Beetlejuice

They’re a little goofy, yet will give you a jumpscare when they show up. That tracks with my experience whenever I read a new RFK story.

Earthworm from James and the Giant Peach

Blind to the world and a bit of a doomsdayer. Also tracks.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Caterpillars are technically not worms, though, according to a two-second Google search, they are “cold-blooded like worms.” That fits the bill for something that would eat bits of a Kennedy’s brain and then just die in there.

As this person posted on X, it would make for an apt addition to the classic children’s book:

The Most Important Met Gala Thoughts

Listen: People who have more expertise in the world of fashion than I do—as in, literally know anything about it—have already weighed on the looks celebrities wore to the Met Gala. I can’t give any worthwhile commentary on that. What I can do, however, is point you toward the random moments that happened at the event that made me squeal with glee.

Donatella Versace arrived escorted by Andrew Scott and Jude Law, two hotties who have starred in adaptations of The Talented Mr. Ripley, and lived out a very specific sex dream I had last week.

Kylie Minogue danced to her own song at a Met Gala after party, and was grinded on by both Andrew Scott and Jonathan Bailey—weirdly also a very specific sex dream I had last week.

While Shakira was posing and being fawned over by photographers and press, Michael Shannon walked in front of the frame carrying a bag of potato chips, marching begrudgingly up the stairs into the gala. A very specific se… I’m just kidding.

Finally, Ariana Grande brought her Wicked co-star Cynthia Erivo on stage to duet to Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston’s “When You Believe.” No jokes. Just chills.

Not This Casting…

Just when I was finally feeling at peace with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce as a celebrity couple—there were no longer news stories written about them every six hours, and we’d been spared the weekly camera on Swift’s face as she watched her boyfriend’s football game—this week ruined everything.

Swift’s Eras tour resumed after a hiatus in Paris, her first performance since the release of The Tortured Poets Department. You can only imagine how not-chill Swifties were about documenting every song on the set list, costume change, breath Taylor took, what her blood pressure was at any given moment…

Then there was also the news that Kelce was cast in a new Ryan Murphy series titled Grotesquerie. Stunt casting is fun… to a point. I hate this. But I did laugh at this post:

A Reason to Live

Wee-oo, wee-oo! (If your brain isn’t as broken as mine, that’s an alarm sounding, written out as text.) Important Reba McEntire news just dropped!

More From The Daily Beast’s Obsessed

A very important take: Chris Pine’s horrendous fashion lately is only making him hotter. Read more.

Everyone is thirsting over John F. Kennedy’s grandson. Here’s why. Read more.

Talking to the newest cast members of The Real Housewives of New Jersey gave me faith that this will be a great season. Read more.

What to watch this week:

Doctor Who: Catching up on this so that I have something to talk about with all my British crushes. (Now on Disney+)

The Last Stop in Yuma County: A crime noir so good, I will certainly never travel to Yuma County. (Now in theaters and on VOD)

Mother of the Bride: I will never not endorse a new rom-com that stars Brooke Shields. (Now on Netflix)

What to skip this week:

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: I wish they’d stop monkeying around with this franchise. Hey-o! (Now in theaters)

Read more at The Daily Beast.

Get the Daily Beast's biggest scoops and scandals delivered right to your inbox. Sign up now.

Stay informed and gain unlimited access to the Daily Beast's unmatched reporting. Subscribe now.