A pregnant mom-to-be took to Reddit’s “AITA” forum to share a head-scratching story involving her sister and her future baby’s name. The duo are both expecting babies and her sister has a name all lined up. When she asked the Reddit user what name she had chosen for her daughter, she told her she was going with Oceana. This did not sit well.
“She asked me what was wrong with a name like Elizabeth or maybe a little Beatrice or Margaret,’ the user wrote. “I told her nothing for those who like those names but they are not for my husband or me. She then said there’s always Emily, Haley, Anna, Marie. I told her to stop. That we knew our girl’s name before we even knew she was a girl and it wasn’t going to change for her.”
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The badgering about the name continued. Her sister took to a Facebook mom group and crowdsourced help for convincing her to change the baby’s name. “She went on a long ass rant about how my taste in names is terrible and how she’s shocked I would like a name like this. That I am ruining my child’s life. I am rejecting all the beautiful, lovely names of the last several years.”
The next time they met up, her sister continued to bring up alternate names. It caused the Reddit user to snap a little. She rolled her eyes and told her sister to focus on her own baby’s name instead. This caused even more of a fight. Her sister informed her that she was just genuinely concerned and it didn’t warrant that kind of response. Now, the Reddit user is wondering if she’s at all in the wrong. “I have not been very patient in trying to deal with her and I admit that, so maybe my handling of things was…. not the best,” she explained. “I could own that. I might also be wrong for wording things as I did.”
It’s hard to understand how the user wouldn’t express some form of annoyance over all this. It would take some superhuman strength to not acknowledge how pushy her sister was being over this decision. Reddit reinforced that she handled herself fine, the name is fine and her sister is being inappropriate. Multiple people said that they had heard of Oceana before and some teachers popped in to share that they had students with that name. Then, there was the simple, straightforward comment of, “SHE DOESN’T GET TO TELL YOU WHAT TO NAME YOUR BABY.”
“It’s not like you are calling your daughter Caligula or Milf (two kids I actually know),” one person noted. “Oceana is unusual but not awful or offensive (if she doesn’t like it then your daughter could choose to go by Ana which isn’t short for anything so no one will think to ask). Your sister needs to butt out.”
Another added: “While I’m not a fan of Oceana, I find it better than Agatha or Eugene. Everyone has different naming styles. She should not have went on the group and shamed you knowing it would get back to you, and then accuse you of insulting her. I am not sure if this is how your sister normally behaves, or maybe she really was just trying to help, but I think she overstepped. She had her own chance to name her daughter, and now it’s yours.”
What you name your kids is a very personal choice. Obviously, parents can and should keep in mind their child’s experience with that name but, unless it’s something egregious, there’s really no rhyme or reason for her sister to have this reaction.
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