'Red Table Talk': Kelly Osbourne opens up about relapse, says addiction began when prescribed Vicodin at 13

Kelly Osbourne, the outspoken daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, says her "natural instinct is to tell everyone to (expletive) off." But the reality personality's recent relapse on alcohol has helped her be "vulnerable."

The 36-year-old let her guard down on Wednesday's episode of “Red Table Talk," where she opened up about her ongoing battle with drug and alcohol addiction with hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter, Willow Smith and her mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris.

Osbourne recently relapsed on alcohol in April following nearly four years of sobriety, which she called ironic after making "it all the way through the pandemic." But she said a poolside meeting triggered the relapse.

"I was alone, sitting by a pool and waiting for somebody to come have a meeting with me. And I saw this woman and her husband had a glass of champagne," she explained on the Facebook Watch show. "It looked really nice and I was like, 'I can do that, too.'"

'It’s never going to be easy': Kelly Osbourne says she relapsed after nearly four years

The "Fashion Police" alum said she desperately wanted to "prove" to everyone that she's "normal now" but Osbourne said she "couldn't even hold back" the impulse: "The next day, I had two glasses. And the day after that, it was bottles."

She recalled thinking, "I can drink like a normal person. I have an amazing boyfriend, I made it through the pandemic. I think I’m fixed." But Osbourne said she soon learned she "wasn't fixed."

"I spent the last four years building a life that I destroyed with one drink," she said. "I let go of my tools, what I used to stay clean every single day because it is a battle for me every single day. It’s never going to get easy."

'In my mind, I was still in control': Kelly Osbourne and Dax Shepard discuss relapse, sobriety, and more

Osbourne, who said she was born into "an alcoholic family," was first prescribed Vicodin at age 13 following a "crazy surgery" for tonsillitis, which she said was "all I needed" to start a lifelong battle with addiction.

"I never went to work sober, I never went to dinner sober, I didn’t do anything sober. Like nothing sober," she said.

The "Project Runway: Junior" judge said Vicodin led to her misusing Percocet to eventually turning to heroin “because it was cheaper.” She referred to the drugs as her "safety blanket."

"I went from having every voice in my head tell me, 'You’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re not good enough, no one likes you,'" Osbourne said. "Then all of a sudden every single voice was silenced and it felt like life gave me a hug."

Osbourne said her mother Sharon sent her to rehab at age 19 after getting caught buying heroin. "I've been going in and out of those places ever since," she said.

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The reality personality said she's bonded with her father Ozzy, who has been sober for 7years, and her brother Jack Osbourne, who has been sober for 18years, over addiction and recovery.

"It’s weird that we turned something so ugly into something so beautiful," she said, adding that Jack helped "put together a plan to get myself feeling strong and supported" following her April relapse.

Osbourne also credits her boyfriend, Erik Bragg, with inspiring her to "the best version of myself."

"He was disappointed because he hadn’t seen that side of me," she recalled. "I’ve never had a boyfriend who’s supportive of me in that area before."

Osbourne has discussed her drug and alcohol battles before in several interviews, her 2017 memoir and on podcasts like Dax Shepard’s “Armchair Expert.”

She has said her drug use became the heaviest during her mother’s cancer battle and after her father almost died after an ATV accident in 2003.

More: Ozzy Osbourne defends his wife Sharon Osbourne as 'the most unracist person'

Contributing: The Associated Press

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Red Table Talk': Kelly Osbourne discusses relapsing during pandemic