Real Housewives of New York City recap: Reunion Part One
Well, it’s been one helluva season of Real Housewives of New York City. There have been bra parties, Berkshire breakdowns, Regency Hotel affairs, and a lot of vaginal-bleeding talk. While that kind of sounds like a weird Blair Witch-esque horror film, it was actually a pretty delightful time. It started super strong (see: bra party) and then dipped a bit (see: bleeding) before coming back (see: the Regency Hotel). But now we’ve arrived at the season’s reunion, which mostly contains stuff we’ve already seen. Allow me to summarize the highlights:
Sonja arrives ready to spill, telling Andy she has dirt on all the ladies. This gal has been digging for juice … probably in her basement full of old dolls, vacuums, and secrets.
Carole is dressed like Miss Havisham for no discernible reason. Or perhaps she has some dry skin she’s hoping to hide on camera.
We start with the Dorinda/John situation and Lady Medley admits this season almost made her quit the show and move to the Berkshires.
John watched and admittedly felt embarrassed by his behavior. There was no discussion of feeling embarrassed for throwing a cocktail party at a dry cleaner.
Ramona does admit the bra party was the worst time to bring John’s Viagra bragging to Dorinda. But Dorinda also admitted there were people at this party she did not know…which makes me think there were some TV extras thrown into the brassiere fiesta.
Andy Cohen saying “bra party” makes me giggle each time.
Andy mentions how Bethenny seems to be insinuating that Dorinda and John do drugs, which Dorinda finds shocking. Then Sonja says “Everybody knows you do drugs!” Then it just gets more awkward, with even Luann telling Dorinda to just move on.
Oh Rey! Remember Rey? The man who has a charity for poor people and was a sloppy mess at the dry-cleaner party? Luann comes to his defense and says, “Rey is a good guy, but was just under stress.” No doubt, considering his charity work and long trips to Ibiza.
Sonja confirms she has seen him out and about, and he did not start screaming “bitch” at her.
Ramona can still not pronounce “reggae” and still prefers the term “ra-gay.” But she’s also been spending a lot of time with gay men, so that might be part of the reason.
All of a sudden, Luann starts pronouncing Carole’s last name completely different than everyone else, but it’s because she speaks three languages. I’m not sure you’re aware, but Luann has spent time in Europe.
Avery is cool with her mom Ramona’s new boobs. Somehow I doubt this.
Finally, we come to the Berkshires debacle and learn Dorinda’s home is called Blue Stone Manor, which absolutely sounds like a horror film Naomi Watts would star in.
Dorinda’s meltdowns apparently have their own hashtag: #Dornados.
When pressed, Luann still cannot spell Bethenny’s name correctly. “Bethanny.” Closer. In her phone, it’s “Bethany.”
Luann then starts claiming it’s actually Bethenny who’s been dating a married man while he’s still living at home.
Bethenny jokes she’s going to have a line called “Slutty Girl” and, without pause, Sonja jokes she’s already copyrighted name. That was a pretty good one.
Bethenny goes HAM on Luann and says she acts like a “whore” out on the town. She then admits she’s slut-shaming the Countess, but doesn’t really care.
Bethenny invents a new fun term: “Lie-ann.” Catchy!
After Luann’s married-man comments, Bethenny calls her current boyfriend’s daughter, who then says something about how her dad had back surgery. I’m not really clear on the context, but she basically says Bethenny did not date her dad while he was at home. I think. Maybe.
Stay tuned next week for more yelling at the Diamond Horseshoe!
