The Olsen Twins Revisited: 'Our Lips Are Sealed,' 'Winning London,' 'Holiday in the Sun,' and 'When In Rome'
There can be no human perception without occasional glimpses of despair. In unrelated news, our look back at the works of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen continues this week as we revisit four (4!) of their most beloved direct-to-video masterpieces. Because darkness falls on even the sunniest of days.
After last week’s debut of the Olsens’ sitcom So Little Time, Nickelodeon is kicking off a run of the twins’ feature length jamborees including Our Lips Are Sealed, Winning London, Holiday in the Sun, and When in Rome. Filmed in the confusing period of American history known as the early 2000s, these four films could be described using such terms as “kid-friendly,” “romps” that are “insane.” But watching them in chronological order also paints a moving and vivid picture of an important phase of the Olsen Twins’ lives and careers, one which eerily foretells of their later escape into the anonymity of high-fashion.
Over the course of these four Olsen Twins features (which, if you’ll recall, were once encased in clamshell packaging and sold at supermarket checkout counters) the girls go from childish fun-seekers to more weathered, world-weary teenagers interested mainly in love and careers. But certain trends carry through them all: Talking into the camera; meta jokes; funky-kewl fashions; doofy boys; Satanic undertones; and, most importantly, a total lack of concern for the audience ever being able tell the girls apart. In fact, if there is one takeaway from the entire Olsen Twins oeuvre it’s that it never, ever matters who is who, and we are best advised to simply interpret the main characters as a single consciousness with two bodies. The second main takeaway? Tinted Benjamin Franklin sunglasses.
Now let’s get into these cinematic treats!
Our Lips Are Sealed (2000)
Maddie and Abby are spunky twin sisters with moxie to spare who accidentally witness a jewel heist and must therefore enter into the Witness Protection Program lest they get murdered. But after moving around the country hundreds of times (due to being blabbermouths) they finally wind up in the darkest reaches of Australia (Sydney) where they attempt to blend in with Australians’ impenetrable, backward culture and become popular with the in-crowd. It’s a loose remake of Witness.
Hijinks
Living in a mobile home; Blowdryer fights; wearing paper bags on their heads; making references to “the MCI Network”; going undercover in “grunge” clothes; throwing boomerangs at bad guys; misunderstanding Australian accents; re-enacting the “I’m the king of the world” scene from Titanic while on a party yacht; eating Vegemite; crushing soda cans on their foreheads; vomiting off the side of a tugboat; booby-trapping their home à la Home Alone; pronouncing it “Crocodile Dundy”; shaming a kangaroo.
Fashion
Mostly beach gear with the occasional addition of tinted Benjamin Franklin sunglasses.
Defining Differences Between the Girls
One has slightly longer hair, otherwise none.
The Boys
These two blond surfer dudes, like the twins, almost always appear standing shoulder-to-shoulder. Also, in the incomprehensible Australian social scene proposed by this film, they are considered losers. Fortunately, the girls are somehow able to look past the guys’ low social stature and love them for who they are inside.
Notable Guest Star
As one of the assassins hell-bent on murdering the Olsen Twins… Jason Clarke! He’d go on to star in Zero Dark Thirty and in a few weeks will be the newest John Connor in Terminator: Genisys. Call it confirmation bias, but he’s a noticeably better actor than anyone else in this movie.
Possible Instances of Satanism
While Our Lips Are Sealed is surprisingly light on Satanism, it’s revealed that the twin sisters experience each others’ dreams when they sleep, a clear indicator of witchery at the very least. (No, not that kind of witch.)
Overall Review
Our Lips Are Sealed feels very transitional, as it bridges the Olsens’ earlier kid-adventure romps with their later teen rom-com dramedies. And honestly? It’s the best one of the batch just for how weird it is. Sure, it contains one million corny jokes, but every now and again there’d be a legitimately hilarious one. In one scene the twins’ father admonishes their mother to put out her cigarette “to set a good example,” so she agrees and throws it into a trash can and ignores when it explodes into flames. And later one of the twins looks into the camera and says, “This is the part of the movie where we feel real guilty for all the trouble we’ve caused,” and then she turns and sits beside her sister and says, “I feel real guilty for all the trouble we’ve caused.” Not saying Our Lips Are Sealed isn’t horrible, just saying it’s very entertaining if you’re in the right mood. Grade: B+
Winning London (2001)
Chloe and Riley are spunky twin sisters with moxie to spare who travel to London in order to represent their high school in an international Model U.N. competition. But rather than sit in their hotel room studying musty old books, they decide to learn about London the old-fashioned way: Shopping montages! It’s a loose remake of Trainspotting.
Hijinks
Signing onto AOL; misunderstanding British accents; thwarting a faux terrorist attack by impersonating James Bond; cross-dressing as adult men and infiltrating a British gentlemen’s club; playing polo; shopping for rave clothes; attending an all-ages nightclub; riding on a Ferris Wheel; sexually harassing a Buckingham Palace guard.
Fashion
Tasteful and restrained, as the girls mostly embrace classic British styles. But at one point they wear colorful rave clothes reminiscent of the infamous runway show in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.
Defining Differences Between the Girls
One has slightly curlier hair, otherwise none.
The Boys
One of the girls falls in love with Brian, a childhood friend-turned-secret crush! The other girl falls in love with…
Notable Guest Star
Future House and Chicago Fire star Jesse Spencer! Though thoroughly baby-faced and in full command of his natural British accent, Spencer’s obvious charisma and star power made it clear even then that he was headed for big things in the world of American procedurals.
Possible Instances of Satanism
A scene in the Tower of London where the kids exuberantly celebrate torture and executions; riding Razor Scooters near Rudyard Kipling’s grave; ominous voices underscore an unsettling visit to Westminster Abbey; a Voldemort reference.
Overall Review
Credit where credit’s due: This movie is well-filmed, or at least better filmed than what came before. It almost looks like an actual movie? And while the Olsen Twins deserve respect for centering one of their international romps around an educational competition, it just simply isn’t very exciting. In trying to get a little more mature they also got a little more boring. Grade: C
Holiday in the Sun (2001)
Madison and Alex are spunky twin sisters with moxie to spare who travel to the Bahamas with their parents for a warm, wet, and wild winter break at the luxurious Atlantis Paradise Island Resort™. There they discover love, grow up a little, and infiltrate an antiquities smuggling ring. It’s a loose remake of Brokedown Palace.
Hijinks
Eating Krispy Kreme donuts on a private plane; openly grousing about having to go to the Bahamas instead of Hawaii; attending a teens-only nightclub party; making chum; riding mopeds into town; SCUBA diving; dolphin molestation; doing time in Bahamian jail; breaking the fourth wall; bringing down an antiquities smuggling ring.
Fashion
In the opening scenes the Olsens introduce a glammier look with a larger reliance on lip gloss. Later, there’s just a lot of beach wear, with more emphasis on showing skin. The Olsen Twins were clearly looking to, uh, expand their fan base at the time.
Defining Differences Between the Girls
Nah.
The Boys
One of the gals took an immediate liking to Jordan, a hotel employee who was as talented at chopping up fish guts as he was singing an impromptu acoustic ballad for an Olsen twin at a luau.
This possibly illiterate jock was played by Billy Aaron Brown, who would go on to appear in THREE more Olsen Twins adventures. Clearly one or more of the Olsens was a fan of his, and for good reason: He’s very charming!
Notable Guest Star
Austin Nichols, who played yet another childhood friend-turned-love interest (this particular dynamic occurs in three of these movies), would go on to appear in almost everything, including One Tree Hill and The Walking Dead.
But most infamously, the Olsens’ primary antagonist was played by Megan Fox! Though it would be years before she’d become Michael Bay’s muse in the Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchises, her Megan Fox-iness was already at full strength here.
Possible Instances of Satanism
Several of the characters go down waterslides built to resemble Ancient Aztec sacrificial temples; the hotel lagoon is teeming with devil rays; the girls handle antiquities not unlike the cursed artifact from The Exorcist; it is once again casually revealed that the girls SHARE DREAMS.
Overall Review
Equal parts trashy and fun, Holiday in the Sun is a return to form. Though these movies are now placing an extra emphasis on love triangles and being all boy-crazy, the girls still seem youthful and exuberant. And this one actually attempts to give the parents meaningful moments, as in the scene wherein the two mothers discuss what it feels like to let their kids grow up a bit. But then, just when you think the movie is a straightforward, sweet, extended advertisement for Atlantis Paradise Island Resort™ it gets truly insane: The final scene gives way to a meta behind-the-scenes sequence in which all the actors play themselves and openly complain about appearing in an Olsen Twins movie. The actress who plays the mom throws a tantrum on the phone with her agent about sharing scenes with Mary-Kate and Ashley, and the actor who plays the dad rolls a game of dice with the black extras. Finally, the twins bicker about what exotic locale their next film would take place in and seemingly choose it by throwing a dart at a world map. For all this audacity alone, Holiday in the Sun is truly worth watching. Grade: B
When in Rome (2002)
Leila and Charli are spunky twin sisters with moxie to spare who travel to Rome to participate in a prestigious fashion industry internship. There they learn the importance of grunt work while falling in love boringly. It’s a loose pre-remake of the 2010 Kristen Bell film of the same name.
Hijinks
Making copies; sealing envelopes; delivering fabric samples; riding mopeds; throwing coins into fountains; learning how to make espresso; getting fired from internships; getting rehired for internships; riding a dune buggy on the beach; delivering interdepartmental mail on rollerskates; visiting the Coliseum; throwing pizza dough on the ceiling; collating paperwork.
Fashion
Though filmed only two years after Our Lips Are Sealed, the girls had clearly figured out how to dress in a way that wouldn’t look immediately dated.
Defining Differences Between the Girls
Not really, no.
The Boys
Paolo is just some Italian intern who romances one of the girls.
This other guy tried and failed to win the heart of the other sister, who decided her time was better spent pursuing her artistic interests. Points for originality, When in Rome!
Notable Guest Star
Oh, just a surprise cameo by the 10,000 Maniacs classic “These Are Days.”
Possible Instances of Satanism
Aside from the city of Rome occasionally having the look and feel of an ancient catacomb, the biggest instance of Satanism would probably be the evident behind-the-scenes soul-selling that led to the Olsen Twins’ successful real life fashion careers. How did they actually go from this movie to that career? Only the devil knows for sure.
Overall Review
This was the second-to-last Olsen Twins direct-to-video movie before their theatrically released swan song, New York Minute, and they already seem way over it. Neither the characters nor the actresses seem to be having any fun, as all humorous elements have given way to the most boring possible romantic misunderstandings. When in Rome doesn’t even work as a travelogue for its historical location, as the footage is all tinted an ugly orange, giving the whole thing the feel of a late-afternoon accidental nap. Our advice? Skip this one and watch the one with the potato chip-eating kangaroo instead. Grade: D
Watch the Olsen Twins films every Friday on Nickelodeon at 7 p.m.: Holiday in the Sun (5/8); Our Lips are Sealed (5/15); When in Rome (5/22); Winning London (5/29)
