Quotes of the Week: The Voice, Irrational, Only Murders, Krapopolis and More
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Y’know, if you just squinted a little, the past week of television actually did resemble a regular fall TV season!
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Despite the absence of quite a few scripted series, this week still brought the returns of shows like Dancing With the Stars, while NBC’s The Irrational was among the freshmen to debut — and both are represented in our Quotes of the Week column below.
This time around, we’ve also got sound bites from The Voice, Only Murders in the Building, American Horror Story and Ahsoka, along with quotable moments from Breeders and Reservation Dogs‘ series finales.
Plus, our roundup also includes double doses of Starstruck‘s third season and Prime Video’s new Boys spinoff Gen V.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
THE IRRATIONAL
“The D.A. told me about you. You’re the science guy.”
“That’s Bill Nye. I’m actually the behavioral science guy.”
Alec (Jesse L. Martin) gives credit where credit is due the first time he meets Elise (Sarah Canning)
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: DELICATE
“If your face looks like a f—king cat’s a—hole every minute of the day, no one’s gonna wanna watch it win an Oscar. So let me know now: If there’s no joy in this job for you, I can help you fill out an application to work at Costco!”
Siobhan (Kim Kardashian) is done with moody actress client Anna’s BS
RESERVATION DOGS
“Brought you some donuts, too.”
“I don’t eat that s—t.”
“Let me guess. Star People food?”
“No, white people food.”
“Worse.”
The elders want absolutely nothing to do with Bear’s (D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai) doughy, seemingly delicious offering
RESERVATION DOGS (Bonus Quote!)
“Nothing can break up the Rez Dogs anyways, right?”
Even though they may be splitting up temporarily, Bear (D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai) lets Elora know their friendship is forever
KRAPOPOLIS
“Would you mind not slut-shaming my mom? She is my mom! I owe my life to her being a slut!”
King Tyrannis (voiced by Richard Ayoade) defends his mother Deliria’s honor — and sexual freedom
THE MORNING SHOW
“Look, this is all a necessary evil, right?”
“That’s the beautiful thing about bulls—t: It can’t be outsourced!”
Stella (Greta Lee) and Cory (Billy Crudup) have differing takes on the network’s return to in-person upfront presentations
DANCING WITH THE STARS
“I know that you are good buddies with Season 9 winner Donny Osmond… Did he give you any advice?”
“Yes, he said drop out in the seventh week.”
Brady Bunch alum Barry Williams knows exactly when to gracefully bow out of Season 32
DANCING WITH THE STARS (Bonus Quote!)
“All I know about the cha-cha is… it’s the same word twice.”
Yeah, Harry Jowsey is definitely a ballroom beginner
BREEDERS
“What made you think that was a good idea? You’ll cock it up, Jim. Paul will shout at you. You’ll tell him to eff off. There’s knives lying about. One of you will commit murder!”
Even though she’s not 100% mentally there, Jackie (Joanna Bacon) still knows Paul and Jim’s father/son cooking lesson is a very, very bad idea
STARSTRUCK (Episode 2)
“Jessie, look. I’ve been meaning to say this to you. Just because everyone else is getting engaged, and getting married, and moving on to the next stage of their lives, it doesn’t mean that you should feel like a failure in any way.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
“Cool.”
Pregnant newlywed Kate (Emma Sidi) offers unsolicited advice to her single bestie Jessie (Rose Matafeo)
STARSTRUCK (Episode 6)
“Jessie! Jessie!”
“Hi!”
“They’re taking me to a second location.”
“That’s fine. That’s great news. It just means you’re about to have a baby.”
Jessie (Rose Matafeo) assures Kate (Emma Sidi) that she is safe with the hospital staff wheeling her to a C-section
THE VOICE
“I hope they got her, like, a new cushion, at least.”
“Yeah, put some Febreze on it.”
Sweet of Gwen Stefani and Niall Horan to worry about the condition in which Blake Shelton left his red swivel chair to Reba McEntire, isn’t it?
SEX EDUCATION (Episode 5)
“Guys, eggs are chicken period, aren’t they?”
We absolutely adore Aimee (Aimee Lou Wood), but she might be officially uninvited to our next brunch
SEX EDUCATION (Episode 8)
“Meeting you cracked my heart open and now it’s forever changed. And because of that, I will carry part of you wherever I go. I think what I’m trying to say is, thanks for everything… d—khead.”
Maeve (Emma Mackey) writes Otis a goodbye letter, thus officially ending their romantic saga
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING
“We’re the fathers of the bride.”
“Ooh, that’s fun!”
George Charles (Steve Martin) comes up with a clever (and very meta!) lie so he and Franck Oliver (Martin Short) can bypass courthouse security
BIG BROTHER
“I don’t know what the heck The Brigade is. I was probably 5 when that happened.”
Matt is much too young to remember Enzo, Hayden, Lane and Matt’s rock-solid alliance from BB12
THE GOLDEN BACHELOR
“My daughter sent me a message: She told me to tell you that you’re dope.”
“My granddaughter told me I had rizz.”
Gerry and Marina dip their toes into the ever-changing world of youth slang
GEN V (Episode 1)
“Perhaps you’ll join the Crimson Countess School for the Performing Arts. Alumni include stars from such shows as Riverdale, Pretty Little Liars and So You Think You’ve Got Super Talent.”
Godolkin University Dean Indira Shetty (Shelley Conn) boasts about the school’s famous vets in a welcome video
GEN V (Episode 3)
“What’s the name of my all-time favorite movie?”
“Well, you’re a white guy, so… Godfather, Star Wars or Shawshank.”
“Waterworld.”
Sam (Asa Germann) tests Emma (Lizzie Broadway) to see if she’s a figment of his imagination
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
“I haven’t tried all the things on the menu.”
“You’d be in your 80s if you did.”
Gordon Ramsay grills a diner waitress on the vast menu offerings
SURVIVOR
“Oh my God, is this Edge of Extinction because I’m not going!”
When Hannah Rose said she wanted out of the game, she really meant it!
AHSOKA
“Well, they’re all back together. I hope I survive long enough to see the outcome.”
Huyang (voiced by David Tennant) notes that Sabine, Ezra and Ahsoka have all reunited on the planet’s surface
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
“I always play the Republican Debate Drinking Game. That’s where you take a drink every time you go, ‘Oh God — I need a drink.’”
Maher recaps the “s–tshow” that was the second GOP debate
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