Quotes of the Week: The Rookie, SVU, The Voice, NCIS: Hawai’i and More
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It’s Sunday once again, and our favorite Quotes of the Week are in.
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In the list below, we’ve gathered more than two dozen of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast and cable series.
This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Young Sheldon, American Idol, Ghosts and The Daily Show, plus a response on Law & Order: SVU that any true New Yorker will appreciate.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of The Rookie, Bob Hearts Abishola, Late Night With Seth Meyers, FEUD, The Good Doctor and Abbott Elementary.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Vlada Gelman, Keisha Hatchett, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
YOUNG SHELDON
“Aw, it’s so romantic, you two writing to each other.”
“I can write you a letter.”
“Please don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because your spelling makes me sad.”
Mandy (Emily Osment) doesn’t think Georgie (Montana Jordan) is up to the task of writing a love letter like George Sr. wrote to Mary
THE ROOKIE
“Maybe I’ll go, too. Grab some popcorn on the way for the show.”
“You’re not funny.”
“I’m hysterical, ask Wesley!”
Angela (Alyssa Diaz) wants to tag along with a bickering Tim (Eric Winter) and Lucy
THE ROOKIE (Bonus Quote!)
“I have to look amazing in a dress tomorrow, no one cares what you look like, he’s huge, I am not fighting him!”
Lucy (Melissa O’Neil) argues that Tim should be the one to fight a mountain of a man for Bailey’s hocked ring
LAW & ORDER: SVU
“She was with two guys.”
“Young? Old?”
“Twenties. They were from out of town.”
“How could you tell?”
“Because they took a gypsy cab. Most New Yorkers know better!”
Driver Yaran Sharifi (Essam Ferris) answers Velasco’s (Octavio Pisano) and Bruno’s (Kevin Kane) questions by citing Big Apple common sense about the shadiest of taxis
THE DAILY SHOW
“Let’s just ask God. It’s his house! He’s the one who started all this! Just ask God. He can tell us who is right! Is it the Jews? Is it the Muslims? Is it the Zoroastrians? If it’s the Scientologists, a lot of us are going to have egg on our faces.”
BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA
“Kemi knows she cannot get married in such a godless place.”
“God was at my first wedding. I’m going to try Satan!”
Abishola (Folake Olowofoyeku) isn’t pleased with Kemi’s (Gina Yashere) decision to have her second wedding in Las Vegas — aka Sin City
BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA (Bonus Quote!)
“What are we drinking?”
“Scotch. You want a glass?”
“I don’t need a glass. I got tomorrow off.”
Dottie (Christine Ebersole) takes a swig of Bob’s (Billy Gardell) whiskey to mark the start of her retirement
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
“You might have seen me in Anyone But You or Euphoria. You definitely did not see me in Madame Web.”
First-time host Sydney Sweeney pokes fun at her box office bomb
WWE RAW
“I know you don’t drink, so on the way home I drank twice as much for both of us to celebrate.”
CM Punk’s biggest hater Drew McIntyre taunts the straight-edge wrestler, who’s currently out of action after undergoing surgery for torn triceps
GENERAL HOSPITAL
“I know from experience that everyone needs help planning a wedding. People who didn’t RSVP will show up with guests. Those guests will most likely be exhausted children under the age of 5. Family members will think an open bar is a challenge. And people who weren’t asked will give speeches.”
Maxie (Kirsten Storms) is understanding of Tracy’s meddling in her granddaughter’s nuptials
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“There are 18% of Americans, according to recent polling, that believe you and Taylor Swift are actually working in cahoots…. Can you confirm or deny that there is an active conspiracy between you and Ms. Swift?”
“Where are you getting this information? That’s classified!”
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)
“Now, the good news is we can all be happy that things have been moving so quickly. It’s only February and this is a trial about Jan. 6… until you remember that it was Jan. 6 three f—king years ago, and you start to think why the f—k did it take you so f—king long to start this f—king case when we all saw the f—king insurrection on f—king TV with our own f—king eyes? Then again, I’m not a lawyer, so f—k me!”
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
“You go in there, you do your business, you scroll on Instagram for 45 minutes until your legs fall asleep, and then you get up.”
Calvin (Cedric the Entertainer) explains why he doesn’t think he and Tina should invest any substantial amount of money into renovating their bathrooms
AMERICAN IDOL
“That was inspiring. And I wrote it and sang it, so to be re-inspired by someone else singing? Full body chills, even in places where I’ve been Botoxed.”
Katy Perry has a very positive reaction to an auditioner’s cover of her song “Rise”
FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS
“What’s the matter? You’re as stiff as a B-movie robot.”
“How many B-movie robots went around disguised like 50-year-old society ladies?”
Truman (Tom Hollander) can’t fathom why protégé Kate (Ella Beatty) isn’t psyched about her transformation into a swan
FEUD: CAPOTE VS. THE SWANS (Bonus Quote!)
“God, it’s unseemly. I look like the grandmother from The Addams Family.”
C.Z. (Chloë Sevigny) doesn’t buy into the theory that there’s no such thing as bad publicity
SURVIVOR
“We read that Sweat task and it said it’s gonna take several hours, and we have four. Last I checked, ‘several’ means seven. But with that being said, we didn’t give up until an hour and a half into it…”
“Wait a second. ‘Several’ means ‘seven’?!”
“‘Several’ means ‘seven’! It’s a part of the word!”
David Jelinsky may have only been with us for a short while, but what a gift he was
CHICAGO FIRE
“It would have been weird to have sushi appetizers there.”
Javi (Carlos S. Sanchez), talking about the fish store that served as Brett and Casey’s wedding venue
THE GOOD DOCTOR
“Dr. Shaun Murphy! It’s really you! I’m so excited, I’m about to pee myself.”
“Please do not.”
Charlie (Kayla Cromer) shares a wee bit too much information while meeting her longtime hero Shaun (Freddie Highmore)
THE GOOD DOCTOR (Bonus Quote!)
“The big guy’s on a mission. I’ll take the girl. [Gasps] I’ve never said those words before!”
Asher (Noah Galvin) makes a funny while volunteering to check on female med student Charlie
THE VOICE
“When ya get Blocked, it’s respect.”
“Totally. I’m gonna take it like that, too.”
“I’m just glad y’all don’t respect me.”
Mischievous John Legend “consoles” fellow coach Reba McEntire after she was Blocked during the Blinds
NCIS: HAWAI’I
“You may just want to go back to the car and change.”
“Change what?”
“Everything.”
Kai (Alex Tarrant) nudges Kate (Tori Anderson) to swap her G-woman suit for a fit more extreme sports-appropriate
DEAL OR NO DEAL ISLAND
“Why is this old lady exposing my past? You can’t fool me — she’s probably the most dangerous player in the game.”
Boston Rob did not like reality-TV superfan Kim “outing” him
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
“It’s not working. It’s like a DC movie over here.”
Jacob (Chris Perfetti) describes his relationship with his boyfriend
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (Bonus Quote!)
“Not you quoting scripture. Lord, He does work in mysterious ways.”
“Not that mysterious. You thought they could keep me away from a place that passes out free money on a free plate?”
Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) is surprised when Ava (Janelle James) references the Bible
GHOSTS
“Of all the things that could have brought us closer together.”
“Turns out it was dating white people who can see ghosts.”
Siblings Bela (Punam Patel) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) marvel at the fact that both of their significant others can see ghosts
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