Quotes of the Week: The Cleaning Lady, Will Trent, Chucky, Curb and More
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We can’t speak to those spring showers that April is supposed to bring, but we can say it’s been a bountiful month for TV dialogue already.
In our Quotes of the Week compilation below, we’ve gathered more than a dozen of TV’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
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This time around, we’ve got bon mots and zingers from Chucky, Fallout, Grey’s Anatomy and Ghosts, plus a quip from Conan O’Brien’s long-awaited return to The Tonight Show.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Will Trent, Station 19 and Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s series finale (read our post mortem Q&A), plus quotable moments from The Cleaning Lady, Survivor, The Rookie and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves! (With contributions from Nick Caruso, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich and Ryan Schwartz)
GHOSTS
“…I enjoy long, moonlit strolls, right up to the boundary of the property.”
Alberta (Danielle Pinnock) works her charm on a visiting poltergeist
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON
“Look, I know you meant well, but I had The Tonight Show for 10 minutes, and you just ate into my time.”
After receiving a standing ovation, Conan O’Brien proves he’s the funniest Tonight Show host in the room
WILL TRENT
“I hate all vowels.”
“The letters E and I? What a couple of jerks! Just figure out who goes first. And don’t get me started on consonants.”
“I’m gonna die before I ever spell cigarettes correctly.”
Will (Ramón Rodríguez) and his Uncle Antonio (John Ortiz) bond over their dyslexia
WILL TRENT (Bonus Quote!)
“Yes, I’m a lawyer, Agent Trent. Does that surprise you? I’m a lawyer and a performer, and I have a rich romantic life. I’m a five-season Shonda Rhimes show.”
Drag queen Glinda Velvet (Kenneth Mosley) reintroduces himself as attorney Josiah Patnett
CHUCKY
[Turns on 2016 film The Boy] “What a f—king joke!”
[Changes channel to Dead Silence] “And this one! He didn’t even get a franchise.”
[Changes channel to M3GAN] “Oh, god, no. Kill me now. That little b—h, she stole my moves! F—k you, Muh-three-gan!”
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery… unless your name is Chucky
THE CLEANING LADY
“I can’t be sure without tests, but I think it’s BPPV.”
“Impossible! I ain’t done the nasty in years!”
An impromptu patient of Thony’s (Elodie Yung) confuses his inner ear disorder with, we assume, the sexually transmitted HPV
THE VOICE
“Your swagger is so heavy, you had to lean a little bit to one side.”
Coach Shay Mooney likens Tae Lewis’ tilted hat to the one Bonanza’s Joe Cartwright wore
STATION 19
“Is [Baby Liam] young enough to work with you, Montgomery?”
“OK, wow. Is your back strong enough to support that giant chip on your shoulder?”
Ben (Jason George) and Travis (Jay Hayden) take their tiff to the next level
STATION 19 (Bonus Quote!)
“I don’t know anything about babies.”
“Do you know anything about open humerus fractures, then?”
After a fender bender, Carina (Stefania Spampinato) enlists the driver’s help in calming Liam
SURVIVOR
“What’s up, Jeff?”
“What’s up, Tim? Thanks for the shoutout.”
“No, Jeff, that’s how Black people ask you, like, what the time is.”
“Oh. I learn a lot on this show!”
Q and Tim teach Jeff Probst a thing or two during this week’s immunity challenge
FALLOUT (Episode 1)
“Well, well, well, well… Either this is an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo, or it’s the weirdest circle jerk I’ve ever been invited to.”
The Ghoul (Walton Goggins) takes stock of the ragtag group that revived him
GREY’S ANATOMY
“Do you know how many diapers we would need if we had three kids who aren’t potty-trained?”
“Try not to panic. This could be nothing.”
“Six diapers a day per kid, that’s like… [Thinks]… a thousand diapers a week!”
“Not even close.”
Link (Chris Carmack) learns that a pregnancy scare, math and Jo (Camilla Luddington) don’t add up
THE CHALLENGE: ALL STARS (Episode 2)
“I would rather stare at paint drying for the next three years than hear another one of those speeches.”
“I would rather eat a denim jacket than listen to an Ayanna speech.”
“I would rather shove toothpicks under my toenails and kick a wall as hard as I can. Straight up.”
Leroy and Kam react to one of the most bizarre deliberation speeches this show has ever seen
THE ROOKIE
“Angela, if this goes sideways and you’re anywhere near it, you could get fired.”
“If Lucy gets fired, it’s a problem. If I get fired, I start living off my husband’s trust fund and call it wine o’clock.”
Angela (Alyssa Diaz) offers to help Tim with his off-book stakeout
SHŌGUN
“Loyalty turns senseless very quickly when the order is suicide.”
“Would you like me to translate that? Or was that for me?”
Mariko (Anna Sawai) wonders who Blackthorne’s (Cosmo Jarvis) rebuttal is truly for
THE AMAZING RACE
“Rod loses one of his nuts and starts freaking out, and starts walking all around all of us. And he’s like, ‘I’ve lost my nuts! I’ve lost my marbles!’”
“OK. Alright. We probably shouldn’t phrase it that way. Sorry, I’m a middle school teacher! What can I say?”
While Danny tells us an innocent story about a frustrated Rod, his mom Angie hears something entirely different
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
“Oh, my god. Will you look at this? No coasters. No coasters! They want you to respect the law, but they don’t respect wood.”
Larry David is never going to let this one go
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (Bonus Quote!)
“This is how we should’ve ended the finale!”
A newly freed Larry David has an epiphany after good pal Jerry Seinfeld picks him up from jail
BLUE BLOODS
“Being a lawyer is nothing like it is on TV. Cases do not wrap up in a week, or an hour.”
Suuuuuuuure they don’t, Erin (Bridget Moynahan)
ALICE & JACK
“What’d you think, this was some passive-aggressive power display?”
“Aggressive-aggressive, but yeah.”
Maya (Aimee Lou Wood) defends Alice’s latest vanishing act to Jack (Domhnall Gleeson)
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