‘Pose’ Star Dominique Jackson on Activism, Agoraphobia and Traveling to Florida Amid Anti-LGBTQ Politics
The National LGBTQ Task Force — a nonprofit that describes itself as “the progressive voice of the LGBTQ movement” — has set its sights on Miami as the host city for the 27th annual Task Force Gala on Oct. 14. The ceremony, presented by St. John’s on the Lake United Methodist Church, will honor Pose breakout Dominique Jackson with a national leadership award during a program that also features co-hosts Latrice Royale and Dyllón Burnside and performances by Anne Steele, Robbie Elias and Tango Libertad.
Taking place in a year that marks the Task Force’s 50th anniversary and in October which marks LGBTQ history month, the event is being presented with the theme “Forever Strong, Unapologetically Queer,” a sentiment that can be applied to the org’s choice to host such an event in Florida, a state that has emerged as a battleground in the fight between conservative lawmakers and LGBTQ citizens. Ahead of Saturday’s gala, The Hollywood Reporter caught up with Jackson on Zoom to talk about traveling there at this time, the challenges she’s faced as her fame grew as a result of the popularity of Pose and the surprise curveball of finding love like Whitney Houston did in Bodyguard.
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What does being a leader mean to you at this moment in your life?
Well see, here’s the thing. I never set out to be a leader. I just wanted to live. I wanted to survive. I wanted to be comfortable. Because of borderline agoraphobia, trauma and other things like that, I wanted to be able to get to a space where I could be a part of the world and yet, be able to find peace and space that I can be a little reclusive in. Through that work, I’ve realized that other people were watching me and looking up to me but it wasn’t an intentional thing that I set out to do. I wanted to live the best possible life that I could without bringing harm to anyone else. For me, being a leader is being able to set an example and being able to give voice or understanding to those that may not be able to find it for themselves without waging war or causing problems. Leaders are supposed to make things right, we’re supposed to help and assist, not come from places of conceit and entitlement.
You mentioned trauma. I didn’t realize agoraphobia was something that you battled. Is that in the past?
It’s something that happens a lot in the sense of right before I go out now, I get a little panicky or nervous. But I have overcome it. I spent eight years of my life dealing with not wanting to go outside, having major anxiety in spaces even though I had to work in said spaces. I had to eat and I have to live, so I’ve found the courage. I will always get there even if it means that once I’m home, I’m a mess on the floor crying hysterically. I push myself through every possible challenge I face because I don’t believe in the presence of things. You think there are obstacles, but there are only challenges. Being afraid to go outside was one of them.
I read an interview in which you talked about how once you became more well known, you never knew if people were coming up to you in public because they recognized you or they wanted to hurt you, and how that complicated your life …
Yes, it did. After the show came out — I’m saying “the show” because we’re on strike — there were so many people who were joyful for us. There’s this thing that happens in that where one or two comments come in amid all that joy and those comments were very negative or contained death threats. That was part of it but I could not sit at home and be fearful of showing up to something that was important or something that I fought for all of my life. I didn’t fight to be a visible person. I fought for us to be able to get the jobs that we believed we could do.
Another thing that happened to me was in 2014, I was strangled within moments of my life. I carried a lot of fear with me after that. Thank God for my therapist and thank God for my support system, including my fiancé who had to become my bodyguard. He still is my bodyguard — he does his own thing now — but he acts as my protection wherever I go so that I can feel safe. Because of the climate out there, as a trans woman, I do not travel by myself. I’m a free spirit and I meet people, speak to them, laugh with them, but I don’t want that to be the end of my life. So, I have to be extra careful.
Speaking of that, you will be traveling to Florida to accept this award, which in and of itself can be seen as an act of resistance. How are you feeling about going to Florida and what does it mean to have the National LGBTQ Task Force gala there at this time?
It’s not just a major act of resistance, it’s just major. We’re here. We have been here and we will continue to be us. For me, going to Florida, yes, I have a bit of fear because of what is happening. When you’re on the outside, you really don’t get the gist of what’s actually happening on the inside. But my brothers and sisters in Florida are resilient. They are strong. Those who had to move moved and they did that for their safety. Those that stayed stayed because they knew that they would stay and fight. They’re saying to the rest of the world, “We are putting ourselves on the line for this fight.” So I have to ask myself, “How could I not show up?” Every single person who lives in Florida and continues to live in their truth, I commend you, I salute you and I will celebrate with you.
How do you find that resilience to keep up the fight without feeling overwhelmed by the political landscape?
Oh, it does overwhelm me. I just push through it for those who don’t have the platform I have or the ability to use their voice. Therefore I have to show up. It can be tough but you have to find some kind of balance. For me, that is family, friends and a great support system. My fiancé is amazing. My managers, Aaron and Val, are amazing. They all come together to make sure that once I put myself in that space, I am the warrior. When I’m finished on that battlefield, I have a safe space to come back to. Every time I have to get it together to get out of that bed, to go face the world, to post on social media and receive the negative comments, I get to come back and find balance.
If you are the type of person who looks at another human being only sees things that you think are wrong with them and you believe that they should not live the same existence of life or comfortability that you are living in, then there is something absolutely mentally wrong with you. You need help. I pity those who are trying to ban drag and force us into these political battles. I’ve never heard of someone bringing a kid into a club to see drag queens. Someone has to read to these kids because a lot of the parents aren’t.
I’m going to be honest with you, I have been in spaces and I have heard kids and I have listened to them and I am sorry, a lot of these kids were not going to libraries or reading. And if the drag queens were coming in there and giving them that space, giving them excitement by telling a story, what’s the issue? It has to be personal. That’s how [politicians] abuse their power.
Is there a moment in your life that you think defines your transition to becoming a leader from just being a woman existing in the world?
Gosh, I may have to say that moment came when I saw myself on a billboard in Times Square. Many years before that, I was walking down 42nd Street with one of my friends and I said to him, “I’m going to be on a billboard one day.” He said, “T, I’m not trying to hurt you but people like you don’t get on those billboards. Black, maybe, but trans, no way.” God bless his soul, he was always there for me. Years later, I was standing there and saw a billboard for my first television production and there I was on a billboard. Everything flashed back and I was flooded with the memories. Then when it happened a second time, that was it. It showed me that through perseverance, determination, and a hard will to not conform to everyday gossip and tearing each other down, you can make it. You have to free yourself. When you free yourself, the rest of the world will see it too, even though they may not want to — be so great that you can’t be denied.
How is life after the show we cannot mention by name?
The show was a boost. It was a boost to get to the place of wow, now I feel like a human being who has value. I feel that my worth has been recognized and that recognition has gotten me to the safety I always desired. I wanted to feel so safe within myself and my surroundings that no one would be able to harm me, that it would be difficult for them to harm me. Doing the show, I was able to experience that level of support. Mr. [Ryan Murphy] and his crew were very, very caring towards us, always. When we get the phone calls, they do show up. It wasn’t that they put us out there and left us. At least not for me. I have come to understand that you have to work hard when you weren’t born with it. You can’t sit and complain about where you need to be. You have to work to get there. For me, that’s what this is all about. This is a reward for me to know that where I came from, nothing was handed to me. We can all work for what we desire.
Hearing you say nice things about Ryan Murphy makes me think of the headlines of these past couple of weeks about Angelica Ross and her experience working with him. Were you aware of those experiences? How did you feel about reading those stories?
No, I was not aware of that. I believe that each of our relationships are personal. Whatever transpired is for them to really work out because when we were there, it was joy. I don’t want anyone to ever have to face prejudice or any kind of discomfort at work. But I know that when we did the show, we were provided with a therapist and the crew, everyone was very much about being respectful at all times. I’m very sorry that my sister had to go through that, but I believe that is a personal thing that they have to work out.
Speaking of personal things, Janet Mock gave her first interview over the summer, telling Them that she’s been focused on healing. I believe it’s her first interview since the season finale premiere night for Pose. Have you been in touch with her or have any response to what happened that night?
I have been in touch with her but no, I have no response to what happened. Again, these relationships are personal and sometimes things happen and people have to heal. I’m always here to support any of my sisters in any way, shape or form. That show made us family and family will always have ups and downs, but we will, in my eyes, always be family.
There have been some ups and downs in Hollywood lately due to the dual strikes. How have you spent this time?
I believe everything happens for a reason. I was pretty much exhausted after these past few years of running around with all the visibility and so on. Fame is not some great thing all the time. You rarely have privacy. And not every actor makes millions, hundreds of thousands of dollars. Most of us are really working paycheck to paycheck. For me, I’ve taken this time to really appreciate what I have and to continue on my healing journey because that is always ongoing. I learn new things every day. I got to finish a few courses I was taking at school. I also came to the realization that I may not be able to commit to getting my degrees. But I am the new scholar in residence for NYU Steinhardt. I have a community there that is really, really, really supportive of those of us who are in the arts.
You have mentioned your fiancé several times, and forgive me if this is too personal but is there a wedding date?
No wedding date or anything yet. We are just happy to be together. For someone like myself, I got to a point in my life after my divorce in 2019 that I felt like I was good. I didn’t need to be in a relationship for the simple fact that no one was ready to deal with me. I felt like I would be used or taken advantage of. I felt like every guy was going to say he wanted children and I couldn’t do that. Or that he would cheat. I was prepared to be alone and I wasn’t trying to look at any men in that way. I was quite happy and at peace with myself. I had dates whenever I could but without commitment. My fiancé came in as my bodyguard and he was beyond caring and I had never experienced that before, the affection, the love, the care.
It was the way he looked at me. Everyone said, “Oh, look at how he looks at you.” I didn’t see it. Then on Sept. 22, 2018, he said that he was in love with me for the first time. I said, “Oh my God, is this real?” He’s meant every word ever since. I can never say that I have not been loved because he has shown me an intimacy, a love that is really genuine and beautiful. That doesn’t mean we don’t argue! Yes, we do. Men are crazy.
That’s really beautiful. You’re getting your own Whitney Houston Bodyguard moment.
It really is. He’s my Kevin Costner.
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