The Eagles unloaded one of their two wildly disappointing wide receivers earlier this week when they traded JJ Arcega-Whiteside to the Seattle Seahawks for Ugo Amadi.
Is Amadi worth anything as a football player? I have no idea. But Arcega-Whiteside is officially gone, so it's a good trade.
A second-round pick in 2019, Arcega-Whiteside was one of the most uniformly bad draft picks in recent Eagles history. In three years with the Birds he caught 16 passes for 290 yards and one touchdown. He dropped easy balls and failed to do much of anything. He probably doesn't belong in the NFL.
And yet this week the Seahawks' Pete Carroll had to convince reporters that Seattle is excited to have JJAW, which led to some hilariously sad quotes from the veteran head coach.
Here's Carroll on JJAW, courtesy of veteran Seattle Times reporter Bob Condotta:
"This is a guy we really liked coming out. He's an aggressive catcher. A contested catch guy is what we really liked about him, so strong and physical. He made a lot of big plays. He was a go-to guy in the program at Stanford. He's unique. He's a big strong kid. He was 225 [pounds] coming out and he's like 230 now. He was playing some tight end for them, which we like all of that, that diversity. I'm always looking for unique guys and this guy brings something possibly unique."
"I can’t tell you anything but knowing who he is, he's got terrific hands, got great catching range, and he's a physical kid," Carroll said. "He admits that he had to learn a lot about blocking, which makes him better, and our guys, all guys, have to block. A matter of fact, our receivers blocked really well this weekend; not always finishing on the guys, but they were really trying hard and really gave great effort. And he’s going to have to fit into all that and he’s had some backgrounds here to help."
Incredible amount of coach speak right there from Carroll. Here are the most heartbreakingly hilarious parts of Carroll trying to get excited about a player entering his fourth year in the NFL:
Go-to guy in college (not in college anymore)
He's 230 pounds
He had to switch to TE
"I can't tell you anything"
Terrific hands (45.7% career catch rate)
He had a lot to learn about blocking
Good stuff. JJAW will be catching bombs from Drew Lock in no time.
Also I love when head coaches refer back to stuff guys did in college, as if that matters now that we have literal years of pro tape on a guy. You liked that he was carving up fluffy Pac-12 defenses in 2018? That's great, man. He can't get open or create separation against a single replacement-level NFL defender. Unless you're planning on sending him back to Santa Clara County to clown some 19-year-old safeties, you're doomed.
The Seahawks are gonna stink, huh?