People Are Sharing Their Relationship "Green Flag" Moments And My Heart Is Warm
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their green flag moments that had them sold on their relationship. Here were the responses:
1."He knew I was going through some shit and told me 'take your time, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.'"
2."After two months together, we went on a train trip to Edinburgh, and there were stops every 20 minutes, apart from the last stretch that was 40. It was winter, so we dressed in double layers. We stood in a packed train and I felt travel sick. To prevent me from passing out, he blew cold air on my face until he was pretty much blue in the face..."
"and that’s when I knew he was a keeper."
3."All my past relationships I always thought 'this person is lucky to be with me.' When I found my now-husband of 15 years, my thoughts changed and I realized 'I was lucky to be with him.'"
"Total green flag."
4."He helped raise his niece (who is now 12). Seeing how much she absolutely adores him melted me to my core...My two kids adore him and he treats us amazingly well."
5."Every single day: 'You’re beautiful.' No matter what time, or what I looked like, or what I was doing. Just those two simple words."
6."He loves all animals, and vice versa. Even some stray cats walk up to him (cautiously, of course) to say hello."
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7."My now husband HATES beef stew. I made beef stew on our second date and he ate every bite. I haven’t made it since that date lol."
8."He lets me have the remote control! Well, that, and my dog, who dislikes everything and everyone except for a select few, now loves him more than me, I suspect."
9."He remembered Snickers was my sad food and brought me one when my mom went into the hospital. We've been together and married for almost 12 years."
10."Being present. When I met my now fiancé, he was always present and attentive. He never seemed distracted and I always feel like I have his full attention when we are talking."
11."Not being shamed for anything I liked and even enthusiastic participation in things other guys I dated would never dare go to because of toxic masculinity (drag shows mostly)."
12."He had a cat."
13."She said South Park was perhaps one of the greatest commentaries towards society, albeit, with ludicrous plots and metaphorical examples. Anyway, we've been together for 13 years, married for 10."
14."When he bought my then-two-year-old almost $300 worth of clothes after only being with me for three months. He has also shown up for me without me having to ask."
15."His relationship with his mother."
"He's an only child and a man to boot, and I thought, Lord...mama's boy. But NOPE. He's a man that loves his mama, not a mama's boy in the slightest. They really are great friends, great to each other, but, most importantly, have boundaries. I am not the No. 2 woman and she forever jokes that she's 'so happy that I pulled him out of her hair'. LOL. She's the best..."
16."He showed up...Every. Single. Time. For example, I was at dinner with friends when it started pouring rain...hard. I don’t drive and the nearest train station was two blocks away. Without being asked, he showed up at the restaurant and texted me that he was outside and would drive me home, but not to come out until I was ready to go home, and to enjoy my dinner with my friends."
17."We were in college and my now-husband’s 16-year-old brother came up to visit. My husband was a poor college kid (like many of us were) but he took his brother out for a nice dinner while he was here, inviting me along...so I could meet his brother. That showed me that his family is important to him. That was 20 years ago. He still prioritizes time with his brother, only, now, they both bring along families of their own."
18."I had to have my gallbladder removed less than a week after we started dating. Not only did he send flowers and a certificate for a manicure and pedicure, he brought me his PS3 to distract me in my recovery (super generous back in 2010)."
"Been married nine years and more in love than ever!"
19."When my boyfriend and I met, I was living in a student house and had a cat, which I adored obviously. A few months into the relationship, my cat didn't come home, and I was so worried. We walked around the neighborhood to look for her. When we got back, I started crying, and he just listened and comforted me. Turned out some people lured my cat away and my cat just didn't come home anymore. But at that moment, I knew he was the one."
"We've been together for 6 years now."
20."I met my boyfriend when I started a new job. After hanging out a few times and admitting our feelings for each other. I was having a really bad time with my mental health. When I told him how I was feeling, his response was 'I’m sorry you feel that way, I don’t want you to ever feel that way. But you are allowed to feel that way and it’s okay'."
"We hadn’t even kissed yet, but I knew right then he was the one."
21."In my previous marriage I did everything: made the majority of the money, cleaned the house, did the cooking, planned our social calendar. It was exhausting. So, when I started dating my current husband, he was really big on sharing responsibilities, and I was sold."
22."My dog is generally very freaked out around new people, especially men, and can take months to warm up to them. But about two hours after my boyfriend first came over to meet them, my dog was all over him! Even my cats — who usually hide when people come over — were letting him pet them."
"I knew then he was a keeper!"
23."He was getting clean at the same time I was getting sober. We were and still are both committed to recovery and the program. We always put recovery first and are amazed at the ways it’s changed our lives. I want to be with someone as committed to sobriety as I am."
24."He's so calm! I come from a family of yellers, and didn't have the best past relationships. Anytime I started getting angry and would get loud, he would always remain calm. Which would help me calm down, and we would discuss the issue like adults. At first it was weird, but we've literally never had a fight because of it. Instead of fights, we have conversations where each person gets to explain their point of view and then we work on a solution together."
"It makes everything so much easier because we both know we can go to the other with no fear of a negative response."
25."The BIGGEST green flag from my current partner was when they said, 'you know, it's not always going to be this way' after a few months of hot and heavy physical activity. I knew at that point they understood me and didn't have high expectations."
"I married them, and we are very happy. Sure, they'd like it more than me but are very understanding that I have a low drive."
26."Recently, I went to a pro-choice protest, and he helped me with the posters and came with me. That’s how I knew he’s truly a good man."
27."Meeting my two-year-old daughter for the first time, he got down on one knee with a rose to introduce himself. He continues to take her on dates, get her flowers for Valentine's Day, and treats her like a queen... He's awesome."
28."My boyfriend is very nice to employees wherever we go. He used to be a custodian and knows all too well how some people treat those that they perceive as below them. He makes friendly conversation with every server, cashier, maintenance staff, etc. we have ever come across."
"Huge green flag for me."
29."I took a pregnancy test and played a joke on my boyfriend where I told him it was positive. I admitted it instantly but asked him ‘what would your reaction be if it actually was positive?’ He said, ‘Honestly? Excited.’ Never had a better response from a boyfriend."
30."He apologized. We had been dating for a few weeks already when he called it off because of timing and (as I later found out) relationship trauma. A few months later, he called me out of the blue, said that he was wrong and had made a mistake. He apologized for how he handled his insecurities and asked to try again. I knew then that someone who could be vulnerable and admit they were in the wrong was someone I wanted to keep getting to know."
"We've been together for a year now, and he still apologizes when he's wrong. Our communication has never been better. He's my person."
31."On our very first date, he told me that, while he was ideally wanting a relationship, his sister had passed away a month prior, and he wasn't sure how that would affect his emotional availability. I had spent years with men who never knew what their emotional availability was for themselves, let alone for them to communicate it with me. He did not leave me questioning where I stood with him."
"...Anyway, we're married now."
32."My now-husband wanted me to download WhatsApp because that's the platform he prefers, and when I told him I deleted it because I couldn't figure out how to block someone who had been harassing me, he showed me how because he wanted to be helpful, and said 'now you can block me too if I annoy you.'"
33."She asked for consent for every 'first', including the first kiss, and still checks in regularly when we're doing anything that has the potential to be uncomfortable if one of us isn't fully on board. No one had ever done that before, especially the guy I dated before her, who in hindsight pressured me into a lot of things I wasn't necessarily down for. Her showing me that decency and caring about my comfort was huge for me, and made me feel so safe with her."
"I do the same for her, of course!"
34."I have never had such good communication with someone, and while we've had a couple of disagreements, both have been easily, maturely sorted out. If I'm feeling rough, he'll find something nice or silly to do to cheer me up. Anything from running a bath to a video call strip show."
"And as a bonus, the passion is definitely not lacking."
35."One day I was driving and my now fiancée put 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel on the car speakers. He was singing along and then the harmonica part comes on. Suddenly, he takes a harmonica out of his pocket and starts playing along perfectly with it. I didn’t even know he knew how to play the harmonica! I laughed and smiled so much. He continues to surprise me every day and I love the heck out of him."
"I get to marry him in September :)"
36."My sweet husband and I had only been dating for a short time when my father died in a car accident. It was so sudden and intense. He had barely met my family. Yet, he was there for ME and my family without question. Having someone so supportive in such a bad time really helped. He also checked on me when he noticed me putting my mom’s or sister’s emotions over mine."
"I knew when he made dinner that night just because he knew we all needed cared for."
37."I met my now-husband at a club in college. I was pretty intoxicated (as was he). I danced with him when I realized my skirt was riding up. I only noticed because he was trying to pull it back down to where it should’ve been. At that moment, I knew I wanted to get to know him outside of that night and gave him my number."
"He texted me first the next morning (another green flag) and here we are!"
38."We were quite intoxicated, and I told him to kiss me. He insisted on giving me his number before he kissed me, saying that he wanted me to know he wasn’t going to just walk away with no way for me to contact him. He told me he wanted to take me on a date and that he wanted to speak to me on the phone the next day."
"...I’m marrying him next month."
39."When we had only been dating a few months, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I needed to get new wipers for my car but hadn’t had the time to do so. It was pouring down rain that day and I had to go get my daughter from school in a few hours. He asked me for the information about my car, then purchased blades for my car and installed them in the rain because he didn’t want my daughter and me to be at risk. My blades weren’t dire, and I was planning on getting to it, but he said he didn’t want to risk something happening to us when he had the day off and could do it."
"He lives 45 minutes away from me, so he spent a couple hours on this project and downplays how significant it was."
40."A few months into our relationship, he told me he bought tickets to see a new play by my favorite writer. I had told him sometime earlier that they were my favorite writer, so he looked her up and saw she was coming out with a new play. Most men I dated before him always made fun of my interests. The fact that he was so eager to learn about my interests and expose himself to something new, without compromising his own passions, meant so much to me."
"It led to our relationship being more exciting and the things we did together were more fun and fulfilling. It was fun to go to a sporting event on one date, then the next date find ourselves at the opera."
41."When my now partner stayed over for the first time, he used the restroom on his way out and first thing I saw — he put the seat down. That was such a small gesture, but it showed me he noticed how I kept my things and respected that."
"...We get married in two months and he is as considerate, observant and kind as he was in those early days. And we now have a two-bathroom apartment where the seats are always, always down when not in use."
42."We had just got engaged. My Mum was unwell at the time (she had stage IV cancer) and at a doctor’s appointment, they told her there was nothing more they could do. She was so sad that she was going to miss us getting married. My now-husband heard this and pulled a tiny wedding together in a few days, all in my home county, just so my mum could be part of our day."
"He didn’t even think about himself. My mum was so happy on our wedding day and passed away six days later. I knew then he was the one for me."
—n75
