Paulina Porizkova Talks Feeling 'Worthless' in Marriage to Ric Ocasek in Revealing New Interview
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Paulina Porizkova is getting candid about self-acceptance as she gets older.
On Thursday, the 56-year-old appeared on the latest episode of StyleLikeU's "Defying Ageism" series where the supermodel opened up about the ageism she experienced in the industry and struggles in her marriage — as she gradually stripped down to her lingerie.
"I would put up photos of myself in bikinis and all of sudden I started getting an influx of, 'Are you a little desperate there grandma? How about you cover up and spare us the look of your poor aging body,'" Porizkova recalled, noting that she thought people perceived her differently when she reached 45 years old. "I was sort of getting relinquished to the invisible women category."
She continued, "You think, hold on a second, I am actually a far more interesting person than I've ever been and this is where you don't want to see me anymore? Because I've aged out of being physically appealing to you."
YouTube
Porizkova admitted that "being extremely seen but absolutely unheard" has been the "pain of my existence" since her childhood. In the 20-minute interview, Porizkova detailed how her late ex Ric Ocasek also made her feel invisible before the end of their marriage and his death.
Porizkova and Ocasek had separated in May 2018 after 28 years of marriage but they were not legally divorced and were still living together at the time of his death, in September 2019.
In the video, Porizkova shared that in years prior, the Cars frontman — who she had been with since she was 19 — "seemed not to find me attractive anymore," adding that it "made me feel worthless as a woman."
YouTube
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"I started feeling like I was a coffee table, something you put s--- on and bump into in the middle of the night but pay no more attention to other than that," she explained.
Porizkova added, "I sort of went with that for a while until I could no longer take it."
She finally told Ocasek that she was "really unhappy" and that they should head "toward separation, maybe divorce."
Kevin Kane/Getty Images
Porizkova said he responded by looking at her "really coldly and said, 'Well, it seems like your mind's made up, so whatever,'" she recalled. "And that was it. I really, really couldn't believe it. … That was all the fight he was going to put up for me."
After Ocasek died suddenly of natural causes at 75 in 2019, the model learned she had been left out of his will, but recently announced she has settled with his estate. She declined to reveal how much money she will be getting but told Los Angeles Magazine's podcast The Originals that she's "gonna be fine."
Though she said she's battled with depression and anxiety over the years, in the YouTube clip she says she's making progress on her body image and self-acceptance as she gets older.
"As much as I embrace this body, and as much as I'm proud of who I am, I'm also broken," the supermodel said in the video. "And I'm assembling myself. So it's not the greatest place to be yet. It will be, though. It'll be pretty freaking awesome."
