Parents Gift Terminally Ill Son Honeymoon, But Upset Bride By Then Including Themselves in Trip

The wife-to-be is confused by the gesture and how her reaction to it was interpreted

One Redditor is dealing with a sticky situation during an unthinkable time in her life.

The original poster (OP) shared her situation on Reddit's r/AmITheA------ subreddit, where she explained that she is marrying her terminally ill fiancé after two years of dating.

"My fiancé was not close with his family growing up at all. In the two years we have been dating, I have only met his parents like 3 times. That doesn’t bother me. Like I said, he has a lot of resentment due to his upbringing and just doesn’t particularly like spending much time with them. Nothing bad happened to him on their part, but outside of his basic needs being taken care of, there was little emotional support," she explains.

After her fiancé's family learned he is terminally ill and given just two years to live, his relationship with them has "gotten a bit closer."

As the couple plans their wedding, OP's partner's family offered to pay for their honeymoon as their wedding gift.

"My husband and I chose Puerto Vallarta because we wanted a relaxing resort vacation and to go snorkeling together. One last boujee trip for our backlist," she explains.

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As those gifting the trip, his parents picked the time frame for it — during what may be OP's partner's last birthday.

"They chose to book the trip so that his birthday was during it. Then they said they wanted to spend his last birthday with him, so they also will be joining us," she reveals. "They did get their own suite at the resort, and both of his siblings got rooms at the resort, too."

While she reiterates her gratitude for the gift, OP admits she was "annoyed they deliberately made it during a time they could conveniently join our HONEYMOON."

"I know he is sick, and I know they want to spend time with him. My fiance won’t say anything to them because he doesn’t want to fight with anyone during his final time here, which I understand!" she says, going on to lament that the two trips weren't separate occasions so they could spend some rare alone time together.

"Between hospital visits and seeing friends and checking off things he wants to experience, we are pretty busy! Like I mentioned earlier, money is not an issue and could easily have been made into a separate trip, but they CHOSE to make the trip during his birthday so they had the excuse to join in," she notes.

OP also admits to telling the family the idea is "a little strange."

"Now they are mad at me for not understanding how important it is for them to spend my fiancé's birthday with him. The entire family thinks that I am wrong for being upset about this," she says. "His parents have said I will barely even see them so I shouldn’t be upset. But we are all staying at the same resort, with rooms right next to each other."

Asking if she was wrong to object, commenters felt OP should accommodate the trip, but wasn't wrong for feeling frustrated.

"It’s totally understandable why you are upset. This is your honeymoon and it should be what you & your husband want. Unfortunately, this is his family’s way of making amends for not being there for him emotionally as he was growing up. They should have asked you and your husband what you wanted. But they aren’t being rational. Grieving often begins before the loss occurs and can make people make emotional decisions," one commenter points out.

"It sounds like your husband really does not want to push the issue. Because of that, and because of the importance of keeping the peace in the time he has left…I’d plan a separate honeymoon with him and not tell any family members. If you’re able to do this prior to the family trip, it may make the trip with them more enjoyable," they write, also suggesting OP consult a grief counselor.

Many agree that OP should still take a solo honeymoon with her spouse. As another commenter notes, "I get wanting an actual honeymoon trip, but again, doesn't have to be this trip - so I wouldn't push that point. Hopefully you can all give each other some grace in a really sad circumstance."

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