Eight simply wasn’t enough.
Just as Outlander fans learned to pronounce tulach ard and became obsessed with the TV version of the love triangle that spans centuries, the summer of the Sassenach abruptly ended on Starz and a pall was cast over the land. Now almost four months since the series went dark, heartbroken Heughanots and Claire Bears have fallen into a deep depression as the affliction known as Droughtlander continues to take hold. They are suffering from highlander hiney withdrawals. They wipe away the constant tears on their promotional tartans. They stress-eat haggis and drown their sorrows in cheap Rhenish. They try to numb the pain with repeats, meme making, and reenacting scenes with their pocket Jamies.
Related: See ‘Outlander’ Season 1 Photos
But dinna fash (don’t stress); Caitriona Balfe, Sam Heughan, and executive producer Ronald D. Moore want you to know you are not alone. They also promise it will be worth the wait until April 4. “I know it has been a long time since the first half of the season, but I promise the final eight episodes will make up for Droughtlander,” Heughan told Yahoo TV last week before their Television Critics Association (TCA) winter press tour panel in Pasadena. “They are action-packed, dark, and very intense as Claire and Jamie move into the next level of their relationship. She and her modern ways tear his guts out, as he puts it. The honeymoon is very short.”
In the meantime, the trio sent these exclusive messages (above) with suggestions on how to survive the long break.
And if their tips don’t work, might we add eight more plans of attack:
1. Start a shinty league.
2. Take up knitting and make Claire’s cowl-and-wrist-warmer sets in a variety of colors.
3. Forage for herbs and try your hand at mixing home remedies.
4. YouTube yourself doing the Craigh Na Dun dance or singing the opening theme about “a lass that is gone.”
5. Barrel your own Rhenish reserve.
6. Red is the new black. Dye your partner’s hair ginger and role-play.
7. Get back on the horse, literally. Hopefully you get along better with your equine pal than Heughan.
8. Throw a MacKenzie-style feast with the help of Outlander Kitchen.
Outlander returns Saturday, April 4 at 9 p.m. on Starz.