Quotes From Every Character On "The Good Place" That Sum Them Up Perfectly
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
The Good Place is really good at doing a lot of things — crazy twists, world building, and coming up with ways to get around cursing being just a few.
Another thing the show is great it is developing characters with strong personalities and iconic quotes. These are the characters of The Good Place, summed up perfectly with their own quotes!
Eleanor Shellstrop: "'You’re not better than me’ was my yearbook quote."
NBC / giphy.com
Alternatively: "Ya basic!"
Chidi Anagonye: "Here's the thing about me: you know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time. Just this constant grinding about things I'm afraid of, or things that I want, or want to want, or want to want to want..."
NBC / giphy.com
Tahani Al-Jamil: "I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself."
NBC / giphy.com
Jason Mendoza: "I'm just a dope who died in a safe with a snorkel...who's only now realizing why that didn't work."
NBC / giphy.com
Michael: "Come on, you know how this works. You fail and then you try something else. And you fail again and again, and you fail a thousand times, and you keep trying because maybe the 1,001st idea might work. Now, I’m gunna go and try to find our 1,001st idea. I hope you'll join me. I hope you shower first, and then join me."
NBC / giphy.com
Janet: "All of these new emotions I'm feeling are about to burst out of me, which might be super embarrassing. What if they come out my butt?"
NBC / giphy.com
Simone Garnett: "I mean, there's a decent chance this entire thing is just a complex electrochemical reaction caused by my synapses randomly firing in the millisecond after my death. But this fro-yo is amazing so I'm just gunna roll with it."
John Wheaton: "I'm so excited for spa day! I mean I know I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight, and the air is obviously perfect, and no one has any jobs or stress or problems but...I just feel like I need this."
Brent Norwalk: "I grew up in Chicago — a suburb, obviously. I went to Princeton University. No handouts, by the way, I earned my spot there. Just like my father and his father before him."
Shawn: "Well, I was going to try to get the humans back by going through the proper channels, but then I remembered...I'm a naughty bitch."
NBC / giphy.com
Bad Janet: "Oh, um, that's a good question. It's up your mom's butt, you fat dink."
NBC / giphy.com
Vicky Sengupta: "I am a strong, independent acid snake in the skinsuit of a strong, independent woman!"
Glenn: "If it's not too much trouble, could I get a hot glass of pig urine? I'm not picky, whatever urine you have is fine."
NBC / giphy.com
Judge Gen: "Hey guys, couple quick announcements. Would anyone eat chips and guac if I put it out? It's good, it's homemade. No takers? A'ight. Second thing, we figured out a plan to save your souls."
NBC / giphy.com
Derek Hofstetler: "Derek!"
NBC / giphy.com
Hypatia: "I used to be cool, man! I studied so much... things. Art and music and the, uh... the one with the number piles? Where I'd be like, 'Two!' and you'd be like, 'Six!'"
Val: "This is so exciting! I hope everyone gets hurt!"
Mindy St. Claire: "You always end up going back. Sometimes you go back because you feel bad your friends don't know what you know. Sometimes you go back because you walk in on me while I'm masturbating, and sometimes you go back because I walk in on you while I'm masturbating."
Pillboi: "Di Giornio! I am a safe installer, here to install-a da safe. So just-a point to where the guacamole money is and I'll install-a the safe in the, how you say, place?"
Neutral Janet: "Your amusement has been scheduled, end of conversation."
Chris Baker: "Bad news, I've been going to the gym. A lot!"
Kamilah Al-Jamil: "Not that I'd expect you to understand, but it's a commentary on the world's fascination with subservience, consumption, death, and pedagogy. Cheddar or Swiss?"
NBC / giphy.com
Trevor: "Who are they gonna believe? Me? Or...a woman?"
NBC / giphy.com
Jeff the Doorman: "I just like frogs. I'm a frog guy."
NBC / giphy.com
Larry Hemsworth: "I just never expect anyone to remember me because I'm only 6'4" and I have one of those forgettable faces. Well I'm sure you're busy, you probably don't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either, I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull and I'm ugly, I'm like a rock. Stupid Larry, stop talking about rocks!"
Gwendolyn: "If I can believe it? Watch this. I believe it!"
Toddrick Hemple: "We're going streaking!"
Neil: "Every action by every human on Earth is recorded and then sent here to be assigned a point value based on the absolute moral worth of that action. For example, a couple in Osaka, Japan, just decided to have a destination wedding: negative 1,200 points. Oh, and it's a destination theme wedding: negative 4,300. The theme's Lord of the Rings...they're basically doomed."
Matt: "I'm still waiting on a response to the request I filed for immediate suicide?"
Henry: "After all, why should I have all the fun and boots?"
Dave Kattertrune: "I mean, who am I, Avril Lavigne?"
Patricia Kattertrune: "I'm nine."
Donna Shellstrop: "Your dog Max is dead in a duffel bag under the deck. I didn't know how hot it gets in cars sometimes. The point is: don't be sad. Honestly? I'll get kind of annoyed if you do get sad. Because it's been a very long day and that bitch Carol from work was really on my ass about some stupid thing that I don't even know what it was and at the end of that long day I had to use one of my favorite duffel bags to do something very gross that I did not like. Now, let's celebrate that dead dog's life by bringing Mommy another bottle of white!"
Donkey Doug: " If you're here to tell me energy drink body spray is a bad idea, I've heard it before, from a bank and some doctors."
Doug Forcett: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk to Edmonton to give $85 to a snail charity."
Disco Janet: "What it is, what it is!"
