The Official ‘L.A Hot Girl’ Gift Guide, From the ‘Jane Goodall of Hot Girls’ Esther Povitsky
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There’s a new class of scientific anthropology brewing in Los Angeles, one that isn’t merely centered around the human species but around another foreign primate that is often seen but rarely understood: the hot girl.
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To be a hot girl is about more than having an enviably symmetrical face and seemingly pore-less skin. Really, the science behind becoming a “hot girl” is much less tangible and more complex. Thankfully, Los Angeles-based comedian Esther Povitsky has taken on a side-hustle as the much-needed anthropologist of our time, who spends her days on the field (ie: the pilates studio and Erehwon), reporting her findings to her hundreds of thousands of followers on social media. Her ongoing TikTok series “Things Hot Girls in L.A. Are Currently Obsessed With,” has garnered millions of views since she began in 2022.
“As I always say on TikTok, I identify as the Jane Goodall of hot girls,” Povitsky tells me over a Zoom call from her Los Angele home, bundled in an all-grey sweatsuit and her hair done up in a messy ponytail.
“I think the term has gotten thrown around a lot in the last couple of years in our culture, but I have a very specific view of it,” she says. “It’s women who present as people who take really good care of themselves, which I think I’m very drawn to because I am extremely not that. It’s just this whole different creature to me that I’m not like, but I want to know everything about.”
And like every species, the diets, language, clothing and appearance of the hot girl is constantly evolving.
To better understand the hot girl, we asked Povitsky to answer a few questions about her most current findings and — just in time for the holiday season — what gifts she thinks everybody should be getting the hot girl in their lives this year:
Who is the epitome of a hot girl in LA, according to you?
Someone whose name you would never know. It’s not someone who’s famous or shares this stuff publicly. It’s more someone who doesn’t even know that all that they know is so important. Like all these little qualities and things that we obsess over — what they do and buy and consume — they don’t think twice about it, it’s just their nature.
Does it require money?
Yeah that’s what I’ve learned…[The hot girls] sent me off on a wild goose chase once to go to this place, Ricarri Studies. They’re like, ‘We go once a month.’ I’m like, ‘It’s $400 for one session? I’m going once and that’s it.’
What’s your favorite “hot girl” behavior or trend?
I was hanging around the hot girls once and after the fourth time they heard me make some kind of self-deprecating reference about myself, they were like, ‘Do you ever notice none of us call ourselves ugly or say anything bad about ourselves? Like, why would you even put that idea in someone’s head?’ So even though it kind of was delivered in this ‘Mean Girls’-like ‘So you think you’re pretty?’-like tone, it was so positive. I was like, ‘Wait yeah, why am I just announcing to everyone that I’m ugly and have bad breath? I should keep that private.
You’re also engaged, and having a baby with, the wonderful Dave King. Is there anything you’re asking him for the holidays this year?
I will share that I am always trying to appear as more of a well-rounded, educated person to my fiancé. I really wowed him when he asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year by saying I wanted a keyboard so that I could learn how to play piano. He went to Harvard and is 10 years older so he was like, ‘Oh my god, I love that.’ So just a pro tip for all the girls that want to impress their old crusty boyfriends.
Lastly, what are currently the top items that every hot girl is buying, doing and wearing right now?
Tall Uggs
“Tall Uggs are a big thing that’s coming that people are not going to be ready for, for sure. Like, RIP Ultra-Mini Uggs. We’re shifting back to tall Uggs. I think if you want to get a hot girl a gift this season, an Ugg-related gift, the Tall Boot is really where you want to go. Everyone’s already cycled through the Slip-Ons and Ultra-Minis.”
Are You Ami Leg Warmers
“And pairing high leg warmers with your Tall Uggs because I think there’s an Aprés-ski kind of energy that’s going to start the holiday season off and carry us into the January, February ski season –not that I’ve ever skied in my life. You Are Ami make really good long leg-warmers.”
BonBon Candy
“I think if anyone is giving you candy for the holidays, and it’s not this random Swedish brand BonBon, that’s a slap in the face. It has to be BonBon, that’s the elite candy right now. It’s popping up in local LA tiny retailers.”
Fancy Dates
“Next up is any form of high-end dates, just expensive-order dates that you’d probably get from Erehwon. I think because of the nostalgia of your grandma sending you dates when you were a little, mixed with the hot girl version of them.”
God’s True Cashmere Flannel
“No girl math can make sense of this one so you need to forgive me in advance. There’s this brand that no one should know about, it’s called God’s True Cashmere and it’s co-founded by Brad Pitt. And you’re like, ‘Wait, why have I never heard of that?’ Because each item is $2,500. But they make these cashmere flannels. But if you’re a really high-earning agent or something and want to flex, this is what you would get someone. But other than that, no one should know about these or buy them.
I was having a personal meltdown and I bought one and it’s really amazing but if my fiancé ever found out how much it costs, he would break up with me while I’m pregnant.”
Buccal Massage
“The future of all spa services is going to be the buccal massage. It’s so overly intimate and such a big swing and almost sexually uncomfortable, but it’s when you get a facial or any kind of spa treatment and they put gloves on and they stick their hands in your mouth. I think most people aren’t ready for that, but that’s the future. And if you’re getting a hot girl a gift, then that’s what they want. There’s no reason to get a facial if you’re not getting a buccal in my opinion.”
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