'Nurture your friendships': Successful Ivy Leaguer rolls out plan for 'how to be happy'

It’s safe to say that if you're a resident of Palm Beach, you’re likely a financial success.

But on Dec. 14, resident Max G. Ansbacher was asking a more pertinent question: “Are you happy?”

Hosted at Restaurant 44, Ansbacher led a Happiness Workshop based around his book, “A Practical Guide to Happiness.”

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By all traditional accounts, Ansbacher has had a successful career. Beyond his Ivy League credentials, having studied law at Yale, he's also the founder and "semi-retired" president of Ansbacher Investment Management, which will be celebrating its 28th anniversary soon.

Still, Ansbacher said finding happiness had always been a struggle. “In my own life I was going up and down, a lot of times down,” he said.

The struggle for happiness was in large part because of a lack of self-esteem, he explained.

“At Yale Law School, I suffered from low self-esteem and a lack of optimism, because I was not on the top half of my law school,” he said. “I couldn’t appreciate the fact then, being admitted into Yale was in itself a great achievement, I didn’t need to be in the top half to feel good about myself.”

His search for happiness led him to write the book he has described as a simple guide to reframing life in a more positive perspective. Moreover, Ansbacher now spends time aiding others find their happiness through counseling and workshops.

Before the event, guests were invited to mingle and have a drink at Restaurant 44's bar.

Among the attendees were residents Karra Greenwood and her mother Mildred Syrom. Greenwood said the book has helped them in their own recent struggles, following passing of her father.

“I thought the book was excellent, it was simple advice,” Greenwood said. “So, we’re excited, my mom and I are here and we’re going to learn how to get on and be happy after a terrible loss.”

Also in attendance was Melanie Cabot, Happiness Club founder and CEO, who said that the organization had previously hosted Ansbacher.

“We had Max come speak, and he was one of our most popular speakers,” said Cabot. “He’s so eloquent, and everyone had a great time.”

A key point for both Cabot and Greenwood is Ansbacher's approach, both citing the personal tone he utilizes in the book as deeply authentic and engaging.

Ansbacher started the workshop speaking about the correlation between personal relationship and happiness, citing the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies measuring happiness.

“What we can take away from it, if we want to be happy, we should nurture our friendships,” he said. “Easiest thing you can do is just pay more attention to them. We all somewhat take our friends for granted.”

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Beyond nurturing personal relationships, Ansbacher noted three rules that formed his principles to cultivate happiness.

The first, “want what you have,” or being grateful for what you already have, which he says often gets taken for granted.

The second, “Do what you can,” relates to creating realistic goals, which Ansbacher related to a humble shoe shiner who had worked in his firm’s building.

“When I was in Wall Street, there was a shoeshine man, that through his hard work was able to get his four kids through college,” Ansbacher said. “He was the happiest man in the building, because he was able to accomplish what he set out to do.”

His final rule, “be true to your own value,” is one he says has been around for centuries, but often forgotten because of societal pressures.

“I think it’s very important, especially in Palm Beach when there’s so many people valuing things that may not be as important as they think they are,” he said. “What do you want people to say about you?”

Regarding periods of hardship, Ansbacher described his two-pronged approach to reframing and coping with negative moments, “be real and stay positive.” As an example, he discussed running his firm during the 2008 financial crisis.

“I was thinking of closing down, but I chose not to because I used my strategy, so I got real and recognized nearly all Wall Street management firms lost about the same as I have. I was not alone, it wasn’t my own incompetence,” Ansbacher said. “My think-positive analysis gave me the courage to stay in business and we traded our way to a nine-year streak as a top 10 options hedge fund.”

Ending the workshop was a few exercises to encourage happiness, including smiling and acknowledging the attendee to their right. "The point of the exercise is just smiling itself can help raise your mood," Ansbacher said.

Guests were also invited to participate in a survey tracking healthy patterns that encourage happiness, including questions regarding their sleep patterns, eating habits, activity levels, among others.

Among attendees, the most common unhealthy habits were inconsistent sleeping patterns and too much time on the computer.

Diego Diaz Lasa is a journalist at the Palm Beach Daily News, part of the USA TODAY Florida Network. You can reach him at dlasa@pbdailynews.com. Help support our journalism. Subscribe today.

This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Daily News: Happiness Workshop: Max Ansbacher's plan for 'how to be happy'