First came the $80 rock. Then those Topshop mom jeans with clear plastic covers over the knees.
Now, Nordstrom is trying to sell the public on the idea of mud-covered men's jeans. No, these aren't mud-proof jeans, but regular jeans that - hear us out - are already covered in mud. And you thought pre-ripped, hole-y denim was outrageous!
"Heavily distressed, medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty," reads the description of the jeans on Nordstrom's site.
The part that truly has the Internet in a tizzy, however, is the price: the Barracuda straight leg jean in indigo wash will cost you a cool $425.
"Don't buy muddy jeans from Nordstrom for $425. Buy a pair you like and I'll muddy them up for you for $300," wrote one shopper on Twitter, echoing the sentiment of everyone's mom.
Don't buy muddy jeans from Nordstrom for $425. Buy a pair you like and I'll muddy them up for you for $300.
- Honoré (@Honore___) April 25, 2017
But wait, there's more! Not to be outdone, Topshop has unveiled completely clear, plastic moto jeans, available for $100. We know what you're thinking - if they're not denim, are they even still considered jeans? Who cares!
Clear jeans? Defeating the whole object of jeans... @Topshop to far pic.twitter.com/ZRezRB8kaz
- ميا (@Miaplaterjones) April 21, 2017
The propositioning of these shock-value items as covetable, pricey goods, has us wondering if this is really what fashion has come to (remember all those homeless-inspired menswear collections at fashion week?) or if Nordstrom is just trolling us all?
Selling head-scratching items was once a move reserved for a bit of April Fools' Day publicity. But now, it has somehow evolved into a full-on marketing strategy, and we (probably) have Gwyneth Paltrow to blame.
Since launching her Goop lifestyle empire, Paltrow has made a name for herself selling utterly ridiculous products for even more ridiculous prices, and then letting the social media "outrage" (or as Paltrow would tell you, the free marketing) pour in. We also have Paltrow to thank for alerting us to the existence of the $17,000 solid gold dildo, naturally.
For Nordstrom and Topshop, the strategy is paying off. There are already thousands of tweets about the products online, with even The Walking Dead's official account chiming in. "Thankfully, muddy jeans are free in the apocalypse."
Thankfully, muddy jeans are free in the apocalypse. Jesus, @Nordstrom https://t.co/s64fqgohWI
- The Walking Dead (@TheWalkingDead) April 25, 2017
Customers are also engaging with Nordstrom's website by writing fake, hilarious reviews. And who's to say that when they're done, they aren't scanning the denim department for some more reasonable jean options?