No lasting love, no problem: Why we still can't stop watching reality dating shows

Reality dating shows are the bread and butter of reality TV.

They have all the elements to grab our attention: everyday people, competition, romance and juicy drama. But, with the exception of "90 Day Fiancé," the success rate among couples on "Love Is Blind," "The Bachelor," "Married at First Sight" and other shows is low. Fewer than 50% of couples have stayed together or gotten married that were paired in the finale of the shows.

Only seven couples from the four seasons of Netflix's "Love Is Blind" are still together, among the 23 who were paired. Just five couples made their love last in 27 seasons of ABC's "The Bachelor," and four are intact on its counterpart "The Bachelorette." Lifetime's "Married at First Sight" has led to 11 long-term relationships, out of 59 matches.

Let's be honest: Reality-obsessed fans don't care whether the shows are a successful way to find true love. We keep watching, anyway. But why?

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Experts say viewers can't turn away from reality dating shows because they feel like they are making connections, or parasocial relationships, with real people.

Reality television stars tend to be more accessible than stars in scripted programs, says Lehigh University associate professor of sociology Danielle Lindemann. They're on a show, they're active across social media and they're interactive with fans. The drama also continues offscreen, generating headlines, which Lindemann says is appealing to viewers.

"We see (reality stars) on the screen being themselves, not being a character," Lindemann says.

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A "Love Is Blind" cheating scandal between Season 3 couple SK Alagbada and Raven Ross led to many deep dives from fans on TikTok and Season 4's love triangle between Marshall Glaze, Jackie Bonds and Josh Demas spurred a tense reunion. "Bachelor" Season 22 cameras followed the moment Arie Luyendyk Jr. broke off his engagement to Becca Kufrin for his runner-up (and now-wife) Lauren Burnham. And TLC's "90 Day Fiancé" has a spinoff "Happily Ever After" to make sure we keep up with the couples. And you know what? I tuned into all of them.

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Reality TV drama feeds the desire to see people fail

Although they don't always yield longtime love, people are also drawn to reality TV dating because of schadenfreude – finding joy in others' hardships.

"We like watching other human beings melt down, regardless of their income status," Robert Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University, told USA TODAY.

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Often, society enjoys watching people claim success. But "once they actually get there, one of the only narrative threads left is to watch them fall. And we do get a lot of schadenfreude pleasure out of that," Thompson says.

Dating shows also reinforce traditional marriage values. Their appeal has a lot to do with our culture's core values of love and marriage, largely viewed through a heterosexual lens.

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"Even in a show like 'Love Island,' in which the goal isn't really to get married, it's still about romance. It's still about love. It's not 'Sex Island,' even if they are doing a lot of hooking up on that show," Lindemann says. "There's a lot of anxiety about the changing face of marriage" as people opt not to marry or to do so at a later age. "In some ways, these reality dating shows pacify our anxieties about that."

We may be engrossed by dating shows because we're anxious about our own love lives. They're a way for us to escape the reality of our own situations and comfort ourselves when we need confirmation that yes, things could be worse. It's not exactly the heartwarming conclusion I hoped for, but it won't stop me from watching.

Anyway, did you catch the (delayed) reunion "Love Is Blind?" Thoughts on Jackie and Josh?

Contributing: David Oliver

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Love Is Blind: Why we watch reality dating shows despite low success