Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement Wednesday morning. This left just enough time for the late night talk shows to write up some witty responses to the news.
The vacated seat means President Trump may appoint a second Supreme Court Justice just halfway into his volatile presidency. The thought of which terrifies The Late Show's Stephen Colbert, who said, "His retirement gives Trump the opportunity to fundamentally change the course of the supreme court. And I would not trust Trump to fundamentally change the dessert course."
Over on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon noticed that Donald Trump Jr. was so excited about the news he forgot he was a 40-year-old man when he tweeted, "OMG! Just when you thought this week couldn't get more lit... I give you Anthony Kennedy's retirement from #SCOTUS." In response the the tweet, Fallon joked, "Everyone who read that was like, 'Well, the word lit is ruined.'"
And on The Daily Show, host Trevor Noah thought the news could be a nightmare for some, saying "Now Trump will likely replace him with a Justice who will discriminate and dismantle abortion rights and LGBTQ rights." Noah added, "And that sound you are hearing right now is Mike Pence having his first orgasm."
And Late Night host Seth Meyers made one last ditch effort to try and convince Justice Kennedy to reconsider. He said, "You have a great job where you barely work. You get a wear a robe all day and give your opinions on stuff. That basically is retirement." Meyers pleaded, Stick around, at least until we get a new president. Six months tops."