Nicole Shanahan Pens Personal Essay After Elon Musk-Sergey Brin Scandal: 'I've Found Strength' (Exclusive)

"I can’t think of anything worse for a professional woman’s career than publicly shaming her for a sexual act," the attorney and philanthropist writes in an essay for PEOPLE

Nicole Shanahan is a 37-year-old attorney, founder of the Bia-Echo Foundation, Stanford CodeX fellow, founder and managing director of Planeta Ventures and mother to daughter Echo, 4. In this week's issue of PEOPLE, she opens up about feeling globally shamed online. In addition to being interviewed for the feature story, she has written the following personal essay that reflects her views.

It has been 12 months since the Wall Street Journal published a story claiming I had an affair with Elon Musk, and that the alleged affair prompted my divorce. The story had major global appeal, and within days there were hundreds of headline articles and tens of thousands of social media posts commenting on the Journal’s claims. For nearly three weeks the story made headline news. I was thrust into the public eye, the online images and commentary felt more like a Zeitgeist than depictions of my lived experiences. The story was a forum for people to project their opinions on a wide variety of topics including extreme wealth, infidelity, and whether I’ve had plastic surgery (I have not). Details of my life were either presented incorrectly, out of context, or distorted for the sake of generating clicks. Like my age (I was 36 at the time, not 33), and my child (my child is born female, not male), and the story behind the advent of my work in women’s reproductive longevity (I believe IVF is sold irresponsibly, and my own experience with natural childbirth has led me to understand that the fertility industry is deeply flawed).

The WSJ’s narrative that an affair with Elon Musk led to the end of my marriage was about as accurate as claiming that the body heat of polar bears is responsible for the melting of the Arctic ice caps. It felt senseless and cruel. The timing was remarkably damaging because it occurred during a stressful time in life when we were transitioning from an intact family to separate households and at a time when I was learning how to be a single mom to a child who means the world to me and who has special needs. I was also saying goodbye to two stepchildren who I loved as my own, and dedicated more than half a decade to helping raise them.

Related: Nicole Shanahan 'Moving On' 1 Year After Alleged Elon Musk Affair, Sergey Brin Split (Exclusive)

I’m not a public person. I speak to the public on issues related to my work, and ideas that I’ve given my time to studying. The article and its aftermath have been a disaster for my work life, my reputation, and my ability to communicate the things I care most deeply about. A university where I had just given a lecture on the subject of who should own the intellectual property rights of works generated by Artificial Intelligence removed the video from the internet for fear of harassment. Speaking engagements dried up, one woman claiming she had to defend me in front of a host committee that felt uncomfortable about my representation at the conference.

I can’t think of anything worse for a professional woman’s career than publicly shaming her for a sexual act. Worst yet, throw in infidelity. Worst yet, throw in two wealthy and famous men.

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The irony is that I am and have always been a bullish defender of the press. In high school, I published protest pamphlets decrying the war in Iraq. I’ve led student walkouts. I’ve worked on publications on the importance of information transparency, and generally just care a lot about democracy. I believe freedom of the press is one of the most important tenets of American liberty, and while I still do, I now am also deeply familiar with what it feels like to be the subject of fast and furious, and sometimes sloppy journalism. While I have a good sense of who the Journal’s handful of “sources” were for the article, and what motivates that group of people, I still don’t know why the Journal felt it was ethically correct to move forward with the piece. The journalists who wrote it have no idea what has gone on in my life. They showed little appreciation for the personal motivations and bias of their “sources.” Instead, they displayed a reckless thirst for a popular hit piece, no matter the cost it would have on my life, the people I serve, and the child I care for.

In true fashion to my roots in academia and the study of law, I’ve given this time, thought, care, objectivity, and space to develop.  Looking back on this year, I’ve found strength and wisdom in ways I would have never imagined. Rather than being reactive and letting myself be buried by the onslaught of online (and offline) comments, many of which were aggressive attacks on my character, I’ve taken the past several months to step back and observe my environment using the same methodological curiosity I bring to many aspects of my life. I’ve been fascinated by the social impact the story has had on people, particularly how interpretations between feminists and misogynists differed so greatly as to what the story represented — if true, I was either a villain or a heroine, depending on who you ask.

Related: Estranged Wife of Google Co-Founder Denies Having Affair with Elon Musk: 'Outright Lie,' Says Lawyer

In many ways, I was perfectly trained as a child to get through this chapter of my life — the frenetic weight of a mentally ill father and a shell-shocked mother taught me to lean into a personal sense of self that has been bullishly cultivated through times of chaos. Bad things happen, injustice happens, but there are always tools for overcoming them, it’s a matter of relentless commitment to oneself. I will never stop seeking self-actualization for myself, my family, and for the communities I serve.

Professionally, I spend most of my days working for climate solutions, social justice, and women’s reproductive science. I’m just starting public appearances again, and it feels incredibly awkward. For the first time, I’ve experienced public anxiety and difficulty getting my words out over a microphone. As much as I know my truth, I don’t want to embarrass or lessen the veracity of the work the people around me are doing — they are just too incredible. For those that have said they stand by me, you will never know how much that means.

Related: Elon Musk Denies Allegation He Had Affair with Google Co-Founder Sergey Brin's Wife Nicole Shanahan

New to my work has been a focus around autism research. About two years ago our daughter was diagnosed with autism, and by virtue of that diagnosis I have a new cause to focus attention on (as has been typical of my experiences, I rarely seek out causes to support, they find me). Our daughter struggles to speak at the age of 4, and I am so proud of her tenacity to find her voice. Being a mother is a gift of work, faith, endless love, and sometimes exhausting days. Being a mother to an autistic child is all of those things plus so much more. I’ve been working with researchers to understand the variations in autism, the biological markers that might help us diagnose autism earlier, and even what causes autism. It is amazing what we’re learning, and we are already seeing overlaps with the work occurring in reproductive longevity, climate, and social justice.

In everything I do, I lean on the resiliency and majesty of nature to keep me going. To anyone facing hard days, my recommendation is this: walk barefoot on the earth, immerse in a natural body of water, let the sun glisten your skin, and listen to the wisdom of the love deep inside of you — it will never lead you in the wrong direction.

Editor's Note: In a statement, the Wall Street Journal told PEOPLE, "We are confident in our sourcing, and we stand by our reporting."

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Read the original article on People.