Our loving corporate masters have been busy exhuming old kids’ properties. Now they’re about to hit the big screen and Netflix, proving once and for all we’ve hit peak nostalgia.
Trolls is the latest feature film from DreamWorks. Everyone remembers trolls, right? Those creepy little genderless gnomes? Well, they’re back. Sort of. The new ones, wisely, don’t look like naked man-child homunculi. And it seems they’ll have a Gargamel-ish opponent in this movie. No word yet on the plot, but don’t worry; Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, and Russell Brand will be along for the ride, in case you thought this was just for kids.
Then there’s Nicktoons, the just-announced Nickelodeon crossover epic. It’s being pitched as Paramount’s answer to Who Framed Roger Rabbit, with characters from Rugrats, Hey Arnold!, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, and The Angry Beavers getting in on the action.
A Stretch Armstrong movie was first announced in 2010 alongside the big-screen Battleship. Indifferent audiences sunk Hasbro’s battleship, and someone must’ve decided a movie about a muscleman with elastic arms wasn’t worth a $100 million bet. But now Stretch is back — reconceived as a Netflix series. And with the Sony Jumanji reboot, Saban’s Power Rangers, and a Playmobil movie in the works, it’s clear there’s no stop to the gravy train in sight.