Speaking to PEOPLE Now on Tuesday, the couple and hosts of Netflix’s innovative new dating series Love Is Blind said that communication has been key for their marriage of 11 years.
“I don’t let it fester, he doesn’t let it fester,” said Vanessa, 39. “We speak our minds. Sometimes you have to walk away…”
“Don’t lie, it’s all about rock paper scissor,” interjected Nick, 46.
After the pair performed two quick games of rock paper scissor, which was won by the former 98 Degrees singer, Vanessa said that they typically use that to make decisions about their three children: sons Phoenix Robert, 3, and Camden John, 7, and daughter Brooklyn Elisabeth, 5.
“I’ll be like, ‘Who’s going to pick him up today? All right, you got it,’ ” Vanessa said.
The mother of three reiterated the importance of communication in their marriage. “I know that sounds cliche, but he isn’t a mind reader. I’m crazy, I go from hot to cold, happy to sad.”
“I never noticed,” Nick joked.
“He’s literally like, ‘I wanna be there for you, but I don’t know how,’ ” she said. “And I’m like, ‘Let me tell you what’s going on right now. I have this going on with this, I feel this from the kids, and I want this from you.’ And he’s like ‘Okay, let’s work on this’. Otherwise, how is he supposed to know that? And vice-versa.”
The couple also revealed that a recent trip to Hawaii with their children did not go as smoothly as they hoped.
“While it was great, I think that they’re too young,” Vanessa shared. “I don’t want to do that for another five to 10 years. We have a 7-, 5- and 3-year-old, and they want to do three different things with three different levels of swimming. There’s only two parents. It was the first time I felt the stress of having three children. Normally we can manage, and I was like this is … “
“One’s on the speed slide, one just wants to wait around,” Nick explained.
“We’re on vacation, so we’re like, we want to have a poolside cocktail and enjoy ourselves,” Vanessa said. “No, and on top of that everyone has a camera phone and I’m like, ’Keep it together.’ ”
Given their level of fame, Vanessa said traveling can become more complicated, especially with three young children.
“It’s not hard because we are very grateful for our industry and what we do and I don’t want to sound ungrateful for that,” she said. “But yes, when you throw in the element of kids and they look absolutely obnoxious.”
“We were in the airport and I just started crying,” Vanessa added. “I faced the wall and tears started coming down. I turned around and I’m like ‘We’re ready! Let’s go through TSA.’ “