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- American rapper, actor and comedian
Nick Cannon revealed how he is coping following the death of his 5-month-old son, Zen, who recently died of a brain tumor.
"People keep asking me how I'm doing I say, 'I'm vertical, I'm standing and you know that's a good start,'" he told the studio audience during Wednesday's broadcast of The Nick Cannon Show.
"A lot of people keep asking me like, 'Man why are you even at work?' Especially my family members, 'Boy, you need to go sit down somewhere, you got too many jobs already. Allow yourself to just be yourself.' And I appreciate that, all of that advice and I know it comes from a place of care. But to me, this isn't work."
He continued, "Yesterday, it was a little easier than today because yesterday I was so laser-focused and even numb. ... I just knew I just had to get it done. Today, I'm a little torn. I'm a little confused. Because it's a hurting thing,"
Cannon then thanked his fans for the “onslaught of love” he has received since breaking the news.
"I didn't expect it from all over the world I really can't thank you guys enough," he added. "When I'm talking about the guilt I don't want even make it about me like, but I say thank you from Alyssa [Scott], Zen's mom, and the rest of our family. ... She's making it, you know, five minutes at a time. But it's but those words really, the tweets, it's outstanding."
Cannon originally shared the tragic news during Tuesday's broadcast, during which he revealed that Zen, the youngest of the entertainer's seven children, had been experiencing breathing problems and lingering cough before things took a turn for the worst.
"Today is a special one y'all for many reasons but it's not going to be an easy one,” he said on Tuesday. “I haven't even shared this with anybody, not even the crew. I had a very tough weekend."
He went on to say that after being told by doctors that Zen's sinuses were fine, they realized fluid was building up in his head that was determined to be caused by a malignant brain tumor.
Cannon later explained that he saw Zen for the last time this past weekend. "I didn't know how I was going to handle today but I just really wanted to grieve with my family, people who love you," he said. "I didn't want to make it about any pageantry so I kind of went back and forth of what I should do but I was always taught, you go through it you grow through it, you keep pushing. I'm here to show that I can fight through this, I'm feeling it, I'm vulnerable, I'm open. this is a special show dedicated to my beautiful son Zen."
Of Zen's mom, he added that she has been "the strongest woman I've ever seen" throughout the process.
"[I'm sending] love to Alyssa, love to her extended family, love to each and every mother that has ever had to lose a child had to deal with a child with special needs," Cannon said on Wednesday's broadcast. "I watched her growth ... mothers are superheroes at every aspect, and I want to just take this time out to say she is doing well but continue to pray for her, continue to pray for our entire family. And we're going to get through it."