When British comedy genius Armando Iannucci came to America with HBO’s Veep five years ago, stateside fans of his classic BBC political satire The Thick of It had just one question: when would foul-mouthed government PR man Malcolm Tucker — played to perfection by Peter Capaldi — be catching a plane across the pond? Even though Iannucci is no longer Commander in Chief on Veep (Dave Mandel was elected to that higher office for the show’s Emmy-winning fifth season), Tucker’s fanbase has been keeping the f–king hope alive, even after Capaldi climbed aboard the TARDIS to become the new Doctor Who.
But now the Scottish actor’s Who boss, Steven Moffat, has officially put the kibosh on the delightful thought of Malcolm Turner trading four-letter terms of endearment with Selina Meyer. Speaking to Yahoo TV at a New York Comic Con press event for Doctor Who, the outgoing showrunner — who will hand his duties over to Broadchurch‘s Chris Chibnall after the 10th season, due to start airing in April 2017 — said, “Doctor Who turns up and swears on an American TV show? I’m telling you right now, [no].” Capaldi, at least, tried to avoid being so definitive. “You never know! I’m very busy, so I don’t really have the time at the moment.” Wait a sec—he’s got an ‘effin time machine, right? We can still make this happen, people!
Moffat continued his spoilsport ways by emphatically saying that Peter Jackson will never, ever direct an episode of Doctor Who — a rumor that gained traction when a hilarious viral video featuring Capaldi and the Lord of the Rings director (and self-confessed Doctor Who superfan) surfaced last November. “He doesn’t want to direct an episode,” Moffat said, with only mild frustration. “He was just taking the mick, that’s all. Can you imagine introducing him to our schedule and budget? Nonsense.” There goes our dreams of the Doctor and Gandalf engaging in a smoke-ring blowing contest.