‘How To Get Away With Murder’ Recap: Righteous Kills

Warning: This recap of the “There Are Worse Things Than Murder” episode of How To Get Away With Murder contains spoilers.

Few things are harder than breakups. Okay, maybe getting away with murder is slightly harder, but breakups are also very hard! Even though roughly one hundred percent of the living go through them at some point and they look so mundane and normal from the outside, and probably all songs are about them, to actually experience a breakup feels like a uniquely terrible situation that nobody could ever possibly relate to. But we DO relate, heartbroken friend. Your trauma is OUR trauma, even if you are a fictional TV character with great hair. We care because we relate.

“There Are Worse Things Than Murder” had all the usual quick-cuts and snappy lines of dialogue, but its smaller relationship-based moments contained the most bangs for our bucks. (Should bucks be banging?) These entailed sexy hookups and friendly commiserations, sure, but also we got this very painful breakup subplot for Connor and Oliver. The most painful thing about it is they’re both great guys and nobody did anything wrong, really. Sometimes romance just stops working! And it’s those confusing ends that hurt the worst sometimes. Who knew HTGAWM could get so REAL? Hey let’s talk about this episode!

We began with… Well, a lot of things. Like every episode of this thing, we got our flash-forward to remind everyone that someone WILL die, and their death WILL be green-hued. But we also got Annalise talking into her flip-phone to FRANK, who had just beaten and murdered the private investigator Annalise had hired to find him. All that aside, the TRUE way this episode began was this:

Unfortunately not even this sight could get Annalise to hang up her flip-phone. That’s the kind of day she was about to have.

For example, right when she got to campus she had to deal with that death-threat flier situation, and the new President did not seem super helpful in that regard. But as someone who suffered through most or all of Dexter, I couldn’t help but be delighted by the idea that this lady is just Lieutenant LaGuerta attempting to start a new life in witness protection and how awkward it’ll be when she and Nate finally have a run-in. “Forget Miami, sis.” Look, I don’t know, they were both on Dexter, give me a break.

God, Frank’s face. Just when he’d shaved his beard and head to reveal the most chiseled and perfect babyface in human history, guess what happened? That private investigator beat him up badly! Good thing that guy died.

Good riddance, trash! Nobody does that to Frank’s face and gets away with it! Anyway, what’s weird is that Frank didn’t seem overly steamed at Annalise for sending someone after him, and if anything he kind of understood that she had to. I don’t think we know the full picture of what’s going on between them, but his very quick scenes were really intriguing in my opinion. What you up to, hunky?

Connor and Oliver had an amiable morning where they seemed friendly toward each other and excessively handsome as ever. Yet they were still broken up and were adjusting to that reality. Which was made more difficult when Oliver showed up to lecture and introduced himself as the new resident hacker.

Also, if you are one of Annalise’s students, make sure to eat BEFORE class. Some of the slides she showed in this lecture were NO JOKE. I may never touch marinara sauce again.

The case of the week was this woman who’d been serving many years in prison for murdering her abusive husband. She was now up for parole again, but the twist was that she did not particularly want to be released and felt strongly that she should just stay in prison. The Keating 5 all interviewed her, and because Connor was actively trying to get kicked off the case, she chose HIM to be her lead representative in the hearing. That’s what you get, slacker.

I love the recurring joke of Meggie being so perfect she borders on shady. What IS her deal? Also it was gross when Wes fed her that ice cream like a creep. Get a room, you two. Well, another room. Not this room.

Speaking of gross! Asher lifted his legs and farted on everybody during a crucial brainstorm sesh. This was somehow more respectable than moments later when he referred to his penis as “Little Asher.” Men, don’t do this. Don’t do any of these things.

I loved when the Keating 5 attempted to brainstorm just who’d been putting up those fliers around campus and they made a list of all of Annalise’s enemies. The best one was “all the cops,” because ALL THE COPS. All the cops hate Annalise. Except for the one that is spending most of his time glistening in her boudoir. But the rest of the cops definitely do not care for Annalise.

I’m not even sure what to say about this scene. Michaela and Asher worked through their relationship a lot in this episode, as she had to overcome her aversion to people finding out their shameful secret, and Asher had to assert that he was more than a “meat stick” to her. But it’s not like someone who answers the phone during cunnilingus deserves respect, you know? Get real, Don Juan.

Connor’s client ended up being a real surly woman, so he attempted to soften her up by relating to her on a personal level when it came to murder. He straight-up CONFESSED to her that he’d been involved in a murder or two, which did give her pause. Good strategy?

The problem was, Annalise overheard EVERYTHING. Here’s a tip on getting away with murder: Maybe don’t confess to a stranger when the door’s ajar? Just make sure that door’s good and closed before confessing murder to a stranger. Tip of the day!

Anyway, Connor’s client ended up giving an impassioned (and genuinely moving) monologue about being an abused woman, and how she wasn’t sorry for what she’d done. But her candor (mixed with Annalise bullying an opposing witness in the bathroom) was enough to get the parole board to release her finally. Victory! This pro-bono class was now 1-1.

But Annalise’s mirth was short-lived, as she was summoned to the university for some bad news. The fliers were deemed “too distracting” and therefore Annalise was fired basically.

She did not take it well.

Tell ’em, Annalise! You better believe she threatened to sue everybody — EVERYBODY — if she didn’t get her job back, and she double-dog-dared them to lock her out of the classroom. Something tells me nobody will be locking her out of the classroom. Because nobody messes with Annalise’s employment benefits. She has that full-service PPO AND dental.

Connor was feeling frazzled and low due to getting in touch with his inner murderer, and all he wanted was a boyfriend to have and hold. But that was Oliver’s cue to remind him they were broken up and he didn’t believe in take-backs. Devastation 2.0 had begun to set in and Connor had no choice but to start moving out. But for tonight he just needed a place to crash.

And when he showed up to Michaela’s, guess who else was there? Asher! So the two could no longer hide the fact that they were having a sexual romance. Not that Connor cared very much, he looked too sad.

Speaking of sad, Wes and Annalise had the world’s saddest pizza party. She had pleaded with him to MOVE IN to her home, mostly because she was lonely. And he considered it, if only because maybe it would be safer somehow? Who even knows. But he was a grown-ass man with a new girlfriend, so maybe moving in with a slightly deranged mother figure was not the best plan of action. Still, they continue make quite a pair.

Bonnie had looked into Laurel’s phone records and discovered she was still phoning Frank every day. This truly ticked off Annalise, but Laurel pleaded that she’d only left voicemails and that Frank never called her back. So the three of them decided they’d join forces to, I guess, get him to call back? Ladies, let his face heal a little first, jeez!

And then, the long-promised final scene in which we found out who wouldn’t die in the flash-forward… Oliver. Oliver will not be dying in the flash-forward. Cross him off your office HTGAWMS3 death pool lists. But what Oliver WILL be doing is accepting a recording device from Annalise that would suggest she knows more about what happens with regard to the murder than we’d thought. Oliver will be right in the thick of that riptide, but it still remains to be seen who will be drowning in it.

“There Are Worse Things Than Murder” was another solidly entertaining hour of intrigue and fun ‘n flirty interpersonal dynamics. This season’s definitely off to a strong start so far! I like it. It’s stressful but I like it. Definitely don’t wanna break up with this show anytime soon, I couldn’t take it.

What did YOU think of “There Are Worse Things Than Murder”?

How To Get Away With Murder airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. on ABC