Heather Locklear Takes a Disappointing Cruise

When you've been married to two of the biggest rock stars in the world (trust us: at one point, Richie Sambora and Tommy Lee were both two of the biggest rock stars in the world) and dated one of the biggest TV stars in the world (trust us: at one point, Scott Baio...), where do you look for love?

Obviously, Tom Cruise (trust us: "Oblivion" notwithstanding, he still is one of the biggest movie stars in the world).

They went on only one date (when Locklear wasn't sure if they went on another, Handler asserted, "I think you would have remembered if you had went out with that again") and, "It wasn't really a date."

[Related: 'Franklin & Bash' Stars Preview Season 3: Hello, Heather Locklear!]

"You know in "Risky Business" where he does that dance in his underwear and he does the splits?" says Locklear. "We were dancing in a club and he went into that — he started doing the splits. [...] So I was like, I'll just sit down."

"It's an interesting dance move to make sure that no one's dancing with you," replies Handler, which is pretty ungracious. Of course Tom Cruise is going to do the "Risky Business" dance to get girls, the same way John Cusack asks women out by holding a boom box over his head, Patrick Swayze used to pick up ladies at pottery wheels, and Robert Pattinson impresses girls by leaping 20 feet in the air while playing baseball.

Locklear, who practically wrote the book on sexy intrigue in primetime ("Melrose Place," "Dynasty," that one episode of "Hannah Montana"), appears next as the new boss on TNT's "Franklin & Bash," where she will butt heads with stars Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, lock lips with guest star Jane Seymour, and, just maybe, teach them to dance in their underwear and do the splits.

Season 3's two-hour opener of "Franklin & Bash" premieres Wednesday, July 19.