Nancy Jones' Memoir “Playin' Possum: My Memories of George Jones” Explores the Demons That Plagued Him (Exclusive)

"He was very abusive," the country star's widow tells PEOPLE of her late husband. "I'm not going to lie. But I knew there was a good man there"

Nancy Jones didn't need to write a book.

She didn't have to tell the story of where she is today or the story of where she once was, and she certainly didn't have to tell the story of living alongside late country artist George Jones.

But then, she died.

"I actually did die, and it was the most beautiful sight I've ever seen," Jones, 74, tells PEOPLE in a recent interview shortly after the release of her book Playin’ Possum: My Memories of George Jones. "I know that God brought me back for a reason."

Indeed, Jones believes that she is here to tell the story of her and George's 30+ year love story, especially as she continues to recover from a life-threatening struggle with COVID-19 in 2020 that cost her 60% of her lung capacity, all of her hair and her ability to walk.

"I probably would have never done this book if I hadn't have got sick," says Jones, who did learn how to walk again following her COVID-19 struggles. "It was as if God was tapping me on the shoulder saying that I had to do this book. I wanted people to know that George Jones was a wonderful man, and I wanted people to know what I went through to get the demons out of George."

To tell the full story of these demons, the widow of George Jones says she had to be truthful — both to herself and to her readers.

"He was very abusive," says Jones of her legendary husband who died in April of 2013 due to respiratory failure. "I'm not going to lie. It's all in [the book]. But I knew there was a good man there. I loved this man, and I knew I was fighting for a good man, and I knew that it was not George when he was acting up and being drunk and doing the things he was doing that was not him. It was those demons coming out."

And when those demons came out, it wasn't pretty.

"When he was so drunk and on cocaine and all this stuff, that was not George's voice that I would hear," she tells PEOPLE. "It was not the same voice of the man that I knew."

Related: George Jones' Daughter Says They 'Began Mending' Their Relationship After Mom Tammy Wynette's Death

Making sure that Nancy Jones' voice was heard throughout the course of Playin’ Possum: My Memories of George Jones was the work of noted author Ken Abraham, who began collaborating with Nancy in July of 2022.

"When we were working on the book, it sometimes felt like I was taking a knife and scraping over wounds that had not yet had a chance to congeal, even after 30 years," says Abraham, who serves as co-author of Playin’ Possum: My Memories of George Jones. "[Nancy] had every reason why she could have walked away, but she didn't do that. That just really impressed me. But I did learn not to push her too hard, because when I'd see those tears coming in her eyes, I knew that was a place where we just had to take it easy."

But soon, the healing began.

"It was more of a spiritual healing," says Jones, whose book found itself in the top spot on Amazon upon its release. "It brought me closer to God. I helped George and in my heart, I know this man went to heaven. If I had not stayed there and do the things that I did, I knew he would die. And I did not want him to die knowing that he wasn't going to heaven. That's why I fought so hard and did the things I did."

And yes, she still feels him right by her side,

Jones quietly adds, "When I go to the gravesite, I can feel him."

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.