Movie review: 'Big Fat Greek Wedding 3' lacks conflict, jokes

LOS ANGELES, Sept. 7 (UPI) -- If there were an audience for movies with no conflict, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 would be comforting. The sequel, in theaters Friday, is non-threatening to the point of banality.

After a photo montage from the first two movies, Toula (Nia Vardalos) catches up viewers on the Portokalos family. Toula's father, Gus, has died, as Michael Constantine, the actor who played him, died in 2021.

Gus' wife, Maria (Lainie Kazan), is declining with memory issues, though she tries to act like she's fine. Toula brings husband Ian (John Corbett), daughter Paris (Elena Kampouris), brother Nick (Louis Mandylor) and aunt Voula (Andrea Martin) to Greece for a family reunion.

The Portokalos family hopes to give Gus' diary to his childhood friends, but when the family arrives in the village of Vrisi, they find they are the only guests. None of the extended family showed up.

There are a few new characters in Vrisi, including Mayor Victory (Melina Kotselou), Gus' old ex Alexandra (Anthi Andreopoulou), her son, Christos (Giannis Vasilottos), and her assistant, a Syrian migrant named Qamar (Stephanie Nur).

To her credit, writer-director Vardalos gives the extended cast equal attention. This is not the Toula vehicle she could have crafted for herself.

In spreading the love, Vardalos spreads the story so thin that nothing actually happens. Every time a potential conflict arises, the parties involved literally make amends in the next scene.

Meeting people from Gus' past brings up complicated relationships, but the film rushes to make clear everyone completely accepts any new information each learns. Finding the rest of the guests for the reunion is an issue, but it's solved by someone just handing Ian a list of their locations.

The one unsolvable conflict is Maria's deteriorating condition. So the film keeps her in the background at home in Chicago, only checking in on her once via video chat. Toula and Nick discuss her once, too.

Comedy still requires conflict to fuel jokes. Someone must think farm animals are hilarious because Vardalos cuts to a rooster and goat at least five different times.

Even rehashing the original film's Windex jokes would have been welcome. Nick uses Windex just once after the film includes a photo of Constantine wielding a bottle, too.

The whole series thrives on scenes that are cute but not necessarily funny. It is as if the marching orders were "mild." The most risque the third film gets is discussing a yogurt enema.

So a mule farmer with a tablet is cute, Nick grooming himself at the breakfast table is gross, and someone in Greece finally puts a stop to the family's insistence on pointing out the Greek origin of every word.

The new characters are endearing enough, but it sure would be nice to see them in a story. Likewise, it would be nice to see the existing characters face some challenges that take the entire 90 minutes to resolve.

A lot of location comedies use very thin scripts to justify a cast and crew vacation abroad. Adam Sandler is the king of these, but usually manages to make something to justify the trip. Vacation Friends, less so.

The cast sure look like they're having a good time in Greece, but there's not much for them to perform there. Alas, even the biggest independent film of all time can fall victim to lackluster sequels.

Fred Topel, who attended film school at Ithaca College, is a UPI entertainment writer based in Los Angeles. He has been a professional film critic since 1999, a Rotten Tomatoes critic since 2001, and a member of the Television Critics Association since 2012 and the Critics Choice Association since 2023. Read more of his work in Entertainment.