Jason Kempin/ACMA2020/Getty Morgan Wallen
Morgan Wallen is coming clean.
In a wide-ranging interview with Bobby Bones on his Bobbycast podcast, the rising country star opened up about the recent controversy he faced when he was uninvited from performing on Saturday Night Live after being recorded partying maskless in Alabama amid the coronavirus pandemic.
"I understand both sides of it a little bit," Wallen, 27, said about the criticism he faced. "I know that I got young kids that look up to me. I need to be mindful of things — I'm not gonna let people control the way I live my life, [but] I do also want to be mindful."
"And honestly, having a son, obviously now I don't know that I'd be proud to show him those videos," he added about his 3-month-old son Indigo Wilder. "I gotta think about some things a little bit differently."
Wallen said that the low moment was "almost a good thing for me" as he was able to sit back and reflect.
"I took a while, like almost two weeks, and just turned my phone off and didn't even look at it," he said. "Drove on the tractor, things like that, and just cleared my head. It was really, really good to me."
Wallen also explained that there have been moments in his burgeoning career where he's felt lonely and doubted his career.
"Honestly, throughout this whole process, there's been times where I would just be like, 'I'm kind of like lonely and I don't know if I even like this,'" he said. "Then you know there's another high and you're like, 'Wow yeah I love this.' It just kind of goes through phases."
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The musician also teases his new double album and opens up about his new baby boy.
"It's so easy to base your feelings off of what other people think because that's my job," he later added. "I pour my heart and soul into this — I really want these people to like it and then they do like it, and when they do like me, that's awesome. But you start chasing that. You start wanting that feeling all the time. It's almost like a drug."
After being uninvited from SNL, Wallen took to Instagram to address the controversy.
"My actions this past weekend were pretty short-sighted and that have obviously affected my long-term goals and my dreams," Wallen said in a video. "I respect the show's decision because I know that I put them in jeopardy. I take ownership for this. I'd like to apologize to SNL, to my fans, to my team, for bringing me these opportunities and I let 'em down."
Wallen is set to return to the stage on Wednesday during the CMA Awards, where he'll perform "More Than My Hometown." He's also nominated for new artist of the year.