Mom tells sister her 4-year-old rainbow baby ‘isn’t special’: ‘[He] is incredibly spoiled and a brat!’

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A parent told her sister that her “spoiled” rainbow baby, a child born after the death or miscarriage of a previous child, wasn’t special and that his behavior was inappropriate

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The frustrated mother shared her story with Reddit’s Am I The A******* page to see if she was being too hard on her sister, or if she was right to call her out for her poor parenting skills. 

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The poster shared some context, explaining that she had a set of 6-year-old twins, and that her sister had lost her first baby to SIDS, which was devastating for the whole family. Luckily, the poster’s sister was able to conceive again, and now has a 4-year-old son named Conner. But according to the poster the good news stops there. 

“Conner is incredibly spoiled and a brat! He throws fits to get his way, hits, kicks, cries – whatever it takes. My sister and her husband give him no discipline. He’s their rainbow baby so that is their excuse for his bad behavior. Their lives are to serve whatever Conner wants.”

She goes on to explain that at her twins’ 6th birthday party, Conner complained the whole time, threw multiple tantrums, and then as the final straw, Connor ripped open almost all his cousins’ gifts before they had a chance to see them. She wrote, “My sister made excuses saying he [was] just excited and wanted to play with my kids’ new toys. I lost it!”

The twins’ mother finally lost her temper and told her sister that Conner was a brat and ruined the party for her children. The sisters argued, and Conner’s mother continued to make excuses, saying that he was her special rainbow baby. Soon after, the poster’s sister left the party with her son. 

The AITA poster’s husband and the other party guests were on her side and believed that Conner had behaved poorly and was out of control.

The frustrated mother and party host went on to say, “My sister hasn’t really spoken to me in a few days, just posted passive aggressive things on social media [on] which I just blocked her. AITA here?” 

She also clarified that Conner has no diagnosed special needs, and that he is much more rowdy and disruptive than most 4-year-olds. She believes his behavior is a direct result of his parents’ lack of discipline and constant praise. 

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Reddit took the original poster’s side

Most Reddit users agreed that the poster was in the right, and that Conner can’t be coddled for his whole life. 

One user commented, “Can you imagine him trying to use the excuse ‘but I am a rainbow baby’ for everything in school?”

Another Reddit user wrote, “NTA…There is nothing wrong with loving your child but clearly your sister and husband could use some family therapy to deal with the loss of their first child. They haven’t gotten over it. Conner is basically the replacement for their dead baby and that is going to mess him up in life.”

Parenting is a difficult journey, but Reddit seems to agree that some discipline and guidance is required to raise a polite and respectful child. 

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