She asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum to weigh in, and it did not go over well. The mom is staying at her brother’s home with her daughter after falling on hard times. Her sister-in-law requires all of the children at home to do chores. But when the Reddit poster’s daughter refused, the mom sided with her daughter, so the sister-in-law imposed consequences.
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“I’m 36f, and my daughter is 16,” she wrote. “Her dad and I spilt over a decade ago and share custody. Since the pandemic, she has been with him, and now he’s living out of the country, so she is with me full time. Since covid, my finance took a blow. My ex couldn’t help out much, and my brother and wife has space and needed help with the kids, so I moved there. SIL[’]s brother died of covid, leaving his kids 4 & 6 with her and her husband, who already had 3 kids of their own, 17, 13 & 15. My brother is a doctor, and his wife needed a lot of help. I helped out as much as I could while staying here.
“She and I butt heads a few times since our parenting styles are different, I think the kids should spend more time being kids and not washing a million dishes after dinner. She had a system, a chore chart. Every other week, it changes. Everyone is a part of the chart, and her kids don’t mind as much, but I do. Since my ex left, my daughter is with me. She hates the chart and feels like it’s crazy for her to clean up after everyone like the dishes or vacuuming.”
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When her daughter refused to do chores, the Reddit poster didn’t think it was a big deal.
“One night, my daughter didn’t do the dishes, and my SIL caught her before bed and asked why,” she explained. “My daughter told her she didn’t want to do them. SIL said she has to do them as she’s apart of the mess, and SIL can’t make breakfast in a dirty kitchen. An argument started, and I got home to it. I spoke my SIL, saying it’s truly unfair because she’s only 1 person and isn’t making a big mess, and my daughter said she isn’t apart of this family unit. SIL said okay and did the dishes herself. From that moment, my daughter isn’t invited to do any fun activity with the family. SIL normally baked goodies for her church, and the kids help.
“My daughter loves it as well, but they started without her, and when she got there, she never got her normal duties. SIL took the kids out most Saturdays to have fun. My daughter wasn’t invited. The older kids are being cold [to] my daughter because of how she shouted at their mom. I think it’s ridiculous to shut my daughter out from all of this. I told my brother, who says those activities are family activities, and since my daughter isn’t a part of the family unit and pulling her weight during the hard parts, she cannot enjoy the good parts either, especially since I’m not bringing in any [money].”
Redditors felt like the mom was being unfair.
“She said she wasn’t a part of that family, now they’re treating her like it,” a person commented.
“You trade chores fairly, not ignore them. Especially in a household that large everyone needs to pitch in,” a user wrote.
“You are raising an entitled brat,” another said.
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