Mitch McConnell and Elaine Chao: All About the Politicians' Decades-Long Marriage

Mitch McConnell and his wife, Elaine Chao, married in 1993

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and his wife, Elaine Chao, have been considered a Washington, D.C., power couple since they wed in 1993.

They have each made history in their respective careers: As secretary of labor for former President George W. Bush and transportation secretary for former President Donald Trump, Chao is the first Asian American woman to ever serve in a president's cabinet, while McConnell is the longest-serving leader of the Republican caucus.

While their backgrounds are vastly different — Chao immigrated to the United States with her family from Taipei, Taiwan, when she was 8 years old, and McConnell is a descendant of a Revolutionary War soldier and was born and raised in the South — the couple don't necessarily see themselves in the same way.

"People remark that I’m in a mixed marriage. I don’t see it that way," he said, according to TIME. "In my first marriage, I married a liberal. Now that was a mixed marriage. With Elaine, she and I understand one another."

When McConnell announced he would be stepping down as the longtime Republican leader of the Senate at the end of the year, he took a moment to express his gratitude for his wife.

“For 31 years, Elaine has been the love of my life, and I am eternally grateful to have her by my side," he said.

Here's everything to know about Mitch McConnell and Elaine Chao's marriage.

They met through a mutual friend

McConnell, then a Senate aide, befriended Stuart Bloch, a liberal public interest lobbyist, in the 1960s, The New York Times reported. The pair remained friends for decades, and in the early 1990s, Bloch invited McConnell to a romantic dinner with his wife, Julia Chang, and Chang's protégée, Chao.

Though McConnell and Chao went on to develop a relationship, Bloch noted that they didn't necessarily show their attraction on the night they met.

"I don't want to say that sparks flew,” he explained. "Because that's not the way either of them is."

McConnell and Chao married in 1993

While McConnell and Chao kept their actual wedding ceremony small in a private affair at the chapel on Capitol Hill, their wedding date had special significance for them both.

According to The Washington Post, the couple chose Feb. 6, 1993, for their wedding day for three reasons: It was former President Ronald Reagan's birthday, it was seven weeks before Chao's 40th birthday and it was just before a week-long Senate recess.

"My wife Elaine and I got married on President Reagan’s birthday, February 6th. It’s probably not the most romantic thing to admit, but Reagan meant a great deal to both of us," McConnell explained during his speech announcing his resignation as Senate Minority Leader.

Instead of a tuxedo and white gown for the big day, McConnell wore a dark suit with a navy blue and burgundy patterned tie, while Chao opted for a hot pink blazer dress with black buttons, trim, collar and cuffs.

She was his "campaign hugger"

At a fundraiser in August 2014, McConnell told the crowd, per TIME, "The biggest asset I have by far is the only Kentucky woman who served in a president's cabinet, my wife, Elaine Chao."

The outlet reported that Chao played a crucial role in McConnell's campaigns and was considered the "campaign hugger." For McConnell, it was a particularly important part of campaigning because he physically couldn't do it himself.

After surviving polio as a child, backslapping causes him physical discomfort. Chao also reportedly remembers small details about people she meets, recalling them months and sometimes years later upon seeing them again.

They don't share any children

McConnell has three daughters — Elly, Claire and Porter McConnell — with his ex-wife, Sherill Redmon, to whom he was married from 1968 to 1980.

McConnell and Chao, however, never had children together, and while she doesn't outright regret that decision, she does acknowledge that her career success may have come at the cost of starting a family.

"I try not to have too many regrets," Chao told CNN. "In my generation, we were taught that we can have it all. ... It doesn't work like that. So I try to counsel young women, regardless [of] whether they want it or not, there are tradeoffs and sacrifices in life."

When asked if she knew she was making a trade-off herself in terms of her political career, Chao shook her head. "No, I didn't," she said.

They split household chores while their careers were on the rise

Speaking to The Washington Post in 1998, McConnell and Chao each described the tasks they were responsible for in their household.

According to the pair, McConnell cooked more often, but even then seldomly, in the form of occasional grilling for Sunday dinners or making oysters for Thanksgiving. (The pair said they dined out often and ate frequently at political fundraisers instead.) Chao, meanwhile, did more household repairs.

At the time, Chao earned more money, a salary of $150,000 plus additional speaking fees "in the five-figure range," compared to McConnell's $136,600 Senate salary.

He joked, "That reminds me, I need to get my allowance."

She was accused of using her office to benefit her family

A government report released in March 2021 revealed that Chao used her office as Secretary of Transportation to help her family members.

According to the investigation conducted over two years, Chao requested that staffers edit her father, shipping magnate James Chao's Wikipedia page, as well as to help promote his biography and send her family Christmas ornaments.

She reportedly also planned to involve her father and sister in a trip to China in 2017 before the excursion was canceled. In one instance, Chao asked staffers to mention that she was the Secretary of Transportation in an effort to get a repair shop to fix something for her father faster.

The investigation by the inspector general did not make a formal determination as to whether or not Chao committed ethics violations, and prosecutors declined to pursue any criminal charges against her.

A rep for Chao said in a statement that the report "exonerates the secretary from baseless accusations." Chao did not speak about the comments but referred to a September 2020 memo claiming that helping her family was acceptable culturally.

"Anyone familiar with Asian culture knows it is a core value in Asian communities to express honor and filial respect toward one's parents, and this ingrained value of love, respect, and filial piety always takes precedence over self-promotion and self-aggrandizement," the memo read in part. "As the eldest daughter, she is expected to assume a leadership role in family occasions that honor her father and her late mother."

They've come under attack from former President Donald Trump

Trump appointed Chao as his transportation secretary, but their relationship, as well as his relationship with McConnell, was tumultuous during and after his presidential term. Trump accused the couple of being friendly to China, and Chao resigned from the position after the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection attempt at the Capitol.

In August 2022, Trump called Chao "crazy" and called for McConnell to be replaced as the Senate Minority Leader. He also called McConnell an "old crow," to which McConnell quipped, "Actually, it's quite an honor. Old Crow is Henry Clay's favorite bourbon."

Later that same year, in December, Trump used a racist nickname in reference to Chao on social media, but she and McConnell deliberately didn't engage with the former Apprentice star.

"He's trying to get a rise out of us. He says all sorts of outrageous things, and I don't make a point of answering any of one of them," Chao told CNN.

During a visit to San Francisco's Chinatown in the same month, she deflected discussions about Trump's name-calling and shared her own message. "I say to my fellow Asian Americans, number one: don’t be afraid of the country. Always be proud of our heritage because now America is more diverse," she said, per The San Francisco Standard.

One of the only times Chao commented directly on Trump's racially charged nickname for her was in a statement to POLITICO in January 2023.

"When I was young, some people deliberately misspelled or mispronounced my name. Asian Americans have worked hard to change that experience for the next generation," she said. "He doesn't seem to understand that, which says a whole lot more about him than it will ever say about Asian Americans."

He voted against codifying interracial marriage into law

Despite being in an interracial marriage to Chao, McConnell voted against the Respect for Marriage Act in 2022, which codified same-sex and interracial marriages into law.

A dozen other Republicans, in addition to all Senate Democrats, voted to pass the bill. It also repealed the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, which stipulated that marriage could only legally be between a man and a woman.

The issues in the bill were raised when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas — also himself in an interracial marriage with his wife Ginni — suggested in an opinion that the court reassess decisions protecting interracial marriages, same-sex marriages and access to contraception.

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