On mental health: What is the price of peace?
There is a lot of violence in the news these days. We are bombarded with social disturbances, gun violence and political issues. Due to inflation in prices for food, gas and the cost of living, anxiety is at an all-time high. Despite the challenges we face, mental health continues to be a growing problem in our communities. It is easy to become consumed with survival and forget to take care of our own mental health issues.
Women tend to be on the frontline putting others before themselves in times of need, protecting and providing for their families, without noticing they are neglecting their own mental health. Female clients often tell me that they feel obligated to help others regardless of how it impacts their own lives. Shame and guilt often fuel these behaviors.
When women are constantly caring for others, it is easy for them to complain about stress but make excuses for failing to prioritize their own mental health. Depression and anxiety become especially common in African American women due to continuously ignoring their own needs. Sometimes it leads to struggle with even wanting to fulfill their responsibilities, such as keeping up with work, family, spouses, church obligations and friendships. Why? Because putting their needs first triggers guilt and shame.
In my work with clients who struggle with codependency behaviors, I often ask, "What is the price of peace? If you disappoint others, sometimes the price of peace looks like being the "bad guy." Maybe peace means setting boundaries and sticking to them even if you lose relationships. Could the price of peace be the willingness to lose so you can win? Your level of self-love determines what you are willing to pay for peace.
It has been said that life is short. Having seen so much pain and suffering in this world, I prioritize loving myself every day. It is important that you are willing to pay whatever price peace means to you because, for me, peace is priceless.
Natalie Dennis is a licensed professional counselor in Oklahoma City.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: On mental health: Why guilt, shame may keep women from peace
